Sweet Chili Duck Legs

Sweet Chili Duck Legs £2.99 from Aldi. A choice of 2 other sauces are available

There is a lot of snobbery aimed at German supermarkets Aldi and Lidl but you know what? Its foolish because they sell some good food if you catch them on a good day (which as more and more are turning to them is quick becoming every day). Superman would shop at these places. Batman too regardless of his billionaire status. And why the f**k not? These stores sell some darned tasty grub. Hell I don't need to go via Budget Alley but frog's legs in gravy! Everything, and I do mean everything comes down to taste. Laverbread, what Richard Burton once described as the "Welsh caviar" begins life in rockpools, which is hardly the desired home of any self respecting gentleman, and yet BOOM! Greatest. Welsh. Actor. Ever. Recommends it.
So cut the phoney chitter chatter and get yer asses down to Aldi and nab yourself some fine tasting treats. Duck is duck so what the f**k? Get it on the dish, it tastes delish!

Be warned: Do not cook in microwave for 18 minutes. I found it way too tough. 14 minutes would have done ace.
And two, when it says "thick" think toffee apple consistency. Its sweet too but hell, if it worked (and worked well) for someone who doesn't usually go for sweet food, then I can 99% say you will enjoy these legs.

Check my video out for a more 'in depth' description. Yeah the quality isn't that great but I might make this a trademark *winks* Enjoy!

Hot Spaghetti

As the nights draw in and cruel Mr Frost arrives with his icy talons, offing pensioners and making British Gas merry, the need for heat is now pretty much priority to us Brits. If you are a fan of hot sauce like my good self, you can get warm for free too (minus cost of sauce obviously), eliminating the need to walk around indoors in scarf and five jumpers. Win!! It works too! Regular readers of these blogs will know the kid of crazy heat these sauces throw out. Believe me, its quite comical reading how friends on Facebook are freezing their azzes off while I am sitting in a tee shirt, sweating buckets.

Colon Cleaning for Moshers

There. A work of Art

What is this you feast your eyes upon?! A cheesy, battered sandwich of doom! (Nothing was fried though and I don't use butter so it wasn't ALL bad.) Sometimes you gotta throw caution (and yer waistline) to the wind and eat dangerously. What good is a life spent munching on lettuce and muesli? And you can't put the awesome Professor Phardtpounder's Colon Cleaner on muesli. (Well you could but I suspect it wouldn't taste very nice). Ever since I first bought a bottle of Colon Cleaner (from Dr Burnorium's Hot Sauce Emporium) I have been smashing it on everything from bacon sarnies to chicken wings, so darned tasty! A Caribbean style, mustard-based sauce with Scotch Bonnet peppers but don't worry! Its nowhere near in the same league, heat wise, as say Blair's Mega Death so even newbies would handle his bad boy sauce. In fact if you are a fan of regular old mustard, you will enjoy this.
So what went into this epic sarnie of doom? Crispy chicken portion, onion rings (breadcrumbs), tomato, all topped off with delicious melted, stringed cheddar cheese and slapped between two slices of unbuttered toast. All grilled and served with hefty dollops of Prof Phardtpounder's Colon Cleaner. Spiffing chaps and chapesses, absolutely bloody SPIFFING! I think I deserve a massive pat on the back and tons of applause for creating such a marvellous work of Art.

Comfort Food

Pass the Parsley

Apologies for the bad photograph but that there is the ultimate comfort food: fish, mashed potatoes and parsley sauce (sadly I forgot the peas.) Most folk nowadays only remember parsley sauce from school dinners as a lad/ladess which is a crying shame because this sauce is seriously LUSH, and easy to make (there are hundreds of recipes online.) Its great with baked ham too, I remember my late mother making it often back in the day. I urge anyone reading this outside of Britain to make some parsley sauce, you will thank me I guarantee.
These days im fairly addicted to hot sauces but will always go back to the parsley when I feel the need (like I did today.) In fact, that has me thinking now: hot parsley sauce! Eureka! I haven't seen anyone make that. I just might suggest it to a hot sauce creator I know.

Curry Bombin' Rissoles

The RissoDaloo™

Heads up Moshers, I bring you lucky headbangers yet another exclusive culinary experience that im pretty certain you haven't tried anywhere else. I call it the RissoDaloo™ and needless to say, it kicks f**king ass! Colour me proud, I love it when a plan comes together (cheers Hannibal!) You want to know something? I don't want to blow an eight ton trumpet here but if it wasn't for folk like me, Mankind would never have discovered the Hot Dog or Cheeseburger. Hashtag FACT.
I love messing around with favourite snacks, and adding my own wicked little twist.
Sometimes it ends up as Epic Fail, like that time I tried a pie sandwich (too 'bready') but occasionally I nail it and we get bacon! Or spicy rissole in this instance. Consistency wise the RissoDaloo™ was slightly thick and heavy but I suspect throwing a handful of chips (fries) onto the plate would solve this. Couple of important points to consider however: adjust sauce to whatever heat level you are comfortable with (Da Bomb will be too hot for newbies) and stick to buying readymade Vindaloo sauce from supermarkets. Why? Because generally these types are not full whack Vindaloo strength, the last thing you want to be doing is adding hot sauce to a good homemade curry (a well made Vindaloo is hot enough.)
Now im not going to say my new creation is gonna change the face of planet, pizza style but if you ever fancy a spicy munch with a definite difference, then my RissoDaloo™ is well worth a shot.


Into the pot

Plant Page Curry Combo

Yummy for the tummy

All Hail (capital H hail) moshers! I bring to thee another wonderful meal which won't cost the earth but will almost certainly make it MOVE! Not to mention light you up like a firecracker up an arsonists azz. All you need is a Mayflower beef curry (can be bought in Farmfoods £1.39p) a carton of their egg fried rice (75p) and a teaspoon of Blair's Ultra Death hot sauce (800,000 Scoville Heat Units of hot.) Takes around 8 minutes of nuking in the micro (but you can use the oven) and the taste? F**king DIVINE, proper bloody lusho!
Its like a moshpit on yer tongue but BEWARE ONLY CHILIHEADS NEED APPLY because at 800,000 SHU, the Death sauce turns this usually tame curry into a ravenous sabre toothed kitty cat on the hunt for your screaming, melting innards. Im not joking either, regular readers of this blog will know from previous posts that the Ultra Death sauce isn't messing around.
I have added Blairs to many curries over the last few months but Mayflowers has brought the best results. Its truly very tasty. Also, unlike other readymade curries who skimp on the meat, Mayflowers has a tidy bit of beef in there, so be careful not to overcook (over nuke?) in the micro because if you do? It gets tough.
If you enjoy Vindaloo, this is a decent alternative if you can't be fussed with heading out to a takeaway. In fact its better when you compare it to some of the shoddier takeaways lurking on our high streets. It was definitely a great way to finish off my bottle of Ultra Death (see empty bottle below.) So I had better sign off this post and get ordering more!

Bah

Dave's Burning Nuts

Dave's Burning Nuts! Not too hot (in my humble opinion) but to be fair to Dave, I think my tolerance for hot foods has shot up since I discovered the wicked world of hot sauce. So to anyone not familiar with the beautiful burn, these peanuts will probably blow their pants off. I still enjoyed them mind, 50x better than a packet of regular dry roasted, and there was a pleasant tingle in the back of my throat after a few fistfuls. I guess I expected the whack of a super hot. I will be buying the "Da Bomb Nuts" next, which i'm told are a wee bit hotter but I would still give Dave's Nuts a solid 7/10 because they are a darned fine peanut which has a pleasant tingle about them. Crisps? F**k that, get some snacks that belong in the metal world inside you.

*If you fancy trying them for yourself, head on over to Dr Burnorium's Hot Sauce Emporium and he'll sort you out good. A fine fellow, tell him I sent you.

Fiery burp

The Beans Are Coming

You will be needing Balls

Quite fancy being a foody agony aunt today so here goes:

"I like to read British mysteries. Strangely, the food most often mentioned in this genre is "beans on toast", evidently an everyday item used for breakfast lunch or dinner (at least according to the authors). Being a lover of (Boston type) baked beans, I tried some on wheat toast. Didn't seem to be different enough to make it worthwhile. Am I missing something? Did I use the right kind of beans or bread? Could some Brits fill in the blanks here?"

Sure can my Colonial chum! What you will be needing:

1. Good quality bread is a MUST, woe betide if you opt for cheap own brand supermarket scut.
2. Ditto baked beans. You really DO NOT want to be choosing the 21p "value" beans. Nothing "snobby" about it, the cheap baked beans have a high salt content. Mind you Heinz could be accused of being too salty as well, so I use Branston.

While the baked beans are simmering on the hob (I suppose you could nuke them in the microwave but im old fashioned) toast a slice of bread. Some like it almost burnt but me? I prefer a light toasting so that the toast is the colour of a matchstick. Make sure you butter the toast while its hot so that all that buttery goodness melts into the bread. This is important! As soon as the beans are hot (hot not warm) pour them over the toast. Serve and enjoy!
I know a lot of folks like to eat this snack with their hands but using a knife and fork is usually the wisest method because it prevents the beans and tomato sauce (not ketchup) spilling all over your lap/carpet/cat. Only use your hands if you are stingy in slopping out the beans but don't be a beany miser, pour that sh!t on good!
If you happen to have some good Cheddar cheese lurking in the fridge (definitely not that processed rubbish) melt some of that and plonk it on top of the baked beans. Makes a great dish even tastier! Of course if you want extra flavour but don't like cheese, the braver readers among you could do what I do and put some HOT SAUCE over the beans. It really adds a pleasant nip, and my personal recommendation would be Psycho Juice Red Savina by the evil (but in a good way) Dr Burnorium. His Psycho Juice range are fantastic.

Blair's After Death Sauce

Real Beef (Burgers)

There Will Be Blood

This was a REAL beef burger (bought at a butchers) coming out from under my grill ten minutes ago. Served with melted cheese on top and in a fresh crusty roll, it tasted heavenly! The blood? Well you never see that coming from puny supermarket burgers which just goes to show how awful they must be. You are cooking meat from a (formerly) living creature remember? There should be blood! Or else im wondering just what kind of animal those supermarkets are putting in their 'beef'.
The 'coup de grâce' of this fine snack was a good few drops of Satan's Rage hot pepper sauce which really did add the kind of sting I look for in a burger. Carnivorous Corpse!



Before cooking

The Hottest F**kin' Sauce

Would look good on a Tesco shelf

This arrived yesterday moshers ~ The Hottest F**kin' Sauce. Id been eager to try it ever since seeing it and now that I have? Well despite the warnings and waffle printed on the bottles label, and the fact that it is a respectable 600,000 Scoville Heat Units, I didn't find it that hot. And nope, that's not some bullsh!t to try and sound macho, im simply telling it like it is (for me anyway.) If we were scoring for heat, I would give The Hottest F**kin' Sauce a 5/10. For taste it would get 9/10 because its much tastier than say Blair's Mega Death Sauce. But hey, its all about opinions right?
You can check out my video (below) to see a more 'hands on' report. But I will be getting more of this because like I say, it tastes good. Plus I wont be giving up on the heat just yet. A Motorhead sized spoonful of it on a burger, or in a curry should finally give me a deciding kick one way or other.

The two main ingredients of The Hottest F**kin' Sauce are Habanero peppers and Scotch Bonnets.

Blair's Ultra Death Sauce

Sweet Chilli O' Mine

Bought a bottle of Blair's Ultra Death Sauce this week to replace my empty Mega Death bottle. Its a step up from Mega and contains red habanero pods, cayenne chilies, pirri-pirri chilies with added Naga Jolokia peppers and is a eye watering, nut melting 800,000 Scoville Units.

Icarus Wings

Not hot but tasty!

Discovered some hot sauces in the supermarkets a few days ago and seeing as ive become a big fan of them, it would have been rude for me not to have picked them up. The sauce in the pic cost just £2 from Tesco, a Heinz ~ Yellow Habanero. "A fiery yellow chilli sauce with sweetness to balance its searing heat." The guff on their website claims. "Ideal for splashing over pizza, pasta, stir fries, chicken, burgers and much more."
Now its a tidy sauce, lush as we say here in Wales but its certainly not "searing heat." Not even close! Hell if Heinz call this "searing heat", Id love to see them try Blair's Death range sauces. It IS tasty though, has a gentle sweetness to it with just a tiny nip to let you know that its trying to be a hot sauce and I will get more. They have two others as well: Chipotle & Garlic (a smokey, medium spiced sauce with a tasty note of garlic) and Green Jalapeño (a hot sauce with a very tangy, almost pickled taste) so will check those out too.

Nightmare on Cawl Street

I have come to the end of the Blair's Mega Death Sauce. Sad times my friends, sad times. (But I do have some Ultra Death on order so happily the burning times are going to keep on rolling and melting my innards like the loudest Motorhead gig.) And as it is the eve of St David's Day I thought it would be a good idea to 'bless' a Cawl (traditional Welsh dish) with the final drops of hot sauce. Result? Well I won't be doing it again because this stuff is much better on burgers and sandwiches. In Cawl/soups it is pretty disgusting it has to be said.
Its hot don't get me wrong. Like I say in the video below, the combined heat from both sauce and cawl makes it feel as though you are eating liquid razorblades but taste wise its pretty darned foul. Another thing to note is that the burn you get from using Blair's hot sauce in things like broth doesn't last as long as when you put some on a beefburger. The heat might be instant and more intense while you're tucking in but 5 minutes after you put down the spoon its barely noticable.



Burny but ych a fi (Welsh = horrid)

Dydd Gwyl Dewi Da Pawb!

Cheese Muerte

Cannibal Sauce!

A Wylde time

Blair's awesome hot (really hot!) sauces have teamed up with the equally cool Zakk Wylde to bring the world Zakk's Shot to Hell Sauce! Part of the blurb reads; the hottest sauce in Zakk's line, this one separates the men from the boys. Be warned, it contains ingredients 600 times hotter than a jalapeño chili. Use sparingly. Not recommended for use without dilution.

So same strength as the Mega Death Sauce? This is going to be the Feasts next purchase to try for the blog. Come to think about it,the hot sauce/metal combo is a f**king great one. Both compliment each other in their extreme versions of their particular talent. Slayer need to team up with Blair and create the Angel Of Death Sauce! Motorhead too, the Killed By Death Sauce! (Blair like to use the word 'death' in their product.) Theres no end to the possibilities, and the more I think about it, the more I feel it would be a raoring success. Hell's blls even the imagery with fire and skulls suit both bnads and sauce.



Beware!

Me v Blair's Death Sauce

Whisky and hot sauce wise?

Blair's Mega Death Sauce - A habanero sauce with cayenne, white vinegar, ancho chilies, chipotles, natural pepper flavor, molasses, guava nectar, ginger, salt, and spices. 550,000 Scoville units. 650 times hotter than a Jalapeño chile.

I did it!! I took on Blair's Mega Death sauce and lived to tell the tale! And to answer the burning question (see what I did there?) YES IT BURNS!! This sauce is not for the faint of heart (or those with cotton lined gullets.) But it is bearable, especially if you enjoy hot/spicy food. A lot of these powerfully strong sauces taste like dirt but this is rather tasty, and has a tomato flavour with a hint of pepper. If it wasn't for the fact it is so potent, I would be replacing my regular ketchup with it.
Most people buy Blair's sauces for the danger or 'novelty facor' (its one way of getting dinner guests talking!) but its so much more than a cheap trick at supper, Blair's Mega Death sauce really does add something special to any meal/snack. It certainly livened up my burger! (I will be adding a drop to my next vindaloo to crank it up further so stay tuned for that.)

I had read a lot of things online about the mega death sauce, some of it wildly exaggerated, some bang on the money accurate but this is what rang true for me the most ~ do not plan on dabbing a drop on your tongue to “get a feel for it”. This is very true, I only used a small blob and it was easily equal in strength to my hottest curry. So be warned: the wise will dilute this sauce with a drop of water if you are not used to hot peppers like the habanero. Im not kidding for the sake of dramatics either!
So final thoughts on Blair's Mega Death sauce; a tasty tang of tomato witha smidge of pepper, EXTREMELY HOT but bearable if you enjoy hot food. Very happy I tried it, will be adding this to a lot more snacks. Gulp!

Bonus extra ~ Its so powerful it works on toothache and headaches too. Seriously, the kick releases an endorphin rush which is the bodies natural painkiller, so it adds a nice extra to your meal.

In another video


Suicide Chicken



Sauce Of The Immortals

Mega Death!!

Dare me?

Nope this has nothing to do with a certain Dave Mustaine's band but it WILL have you sweating bullets (see what I did there?) and a whole lot more I shouldn't wonder. Hold on to yer asses, this journey might get a little bumpy because my fellow moshers I give you the Mega Death Sauce! A sauce that contains ingredients 500 times HOTTER than a Jalapeno Chile. Crikey! To add to the fear factor(y) it has various 'Warnings O'Doom' on the bottle such as "Use sparingly" and "Not recommended for use without dilution". Gulp. Along with the other spices, Mega Death Sauce contains Habanero Peppers, Cayenne Peppers and Chipotle Peppers. And I simply have to try it. I can deny it to my tastebuds no longer.

Disclaimer: Warning: this product contains the hottest known ingredients on the planet earth. Please use with extreme caution.

It ARRIVED!!

Farmfoods: Spicy Wings

Farmfoods has become a great place to stock up on frozen junk food at wallet friendly prices. Feasts Of Metal cannot ignore this and since one has recently opened in Carmarthen (near MacDonalds), ive decided to share some tasty goodies. If you've never been there, seriously do so. They charge signicantly lower prices than what Tesco or Morrosons do. £1 for 4 turkey burgers, £2 chicken nuggets, £1 battered/crumbed onion rings. Ideal for parties or barbecues.

Spicy chicken wings


Chicken (buffalo) wings are not as popular here as they are in the United States for some reason (wise up people!) but they are a perfect snack to have on picnics or during movies/rugby matches/gaming marathons. (Ive even taken them into the cinema!) You can create different dips and sauces too so that things don't get samey.
To be honest I wan't expecting great things from these wings from Farmfoods but I was happy to have been proved otherwise. Really tasty and quite meaty too considering they are only chicken wings. (I know in the video below I say theres not much meat on them but that was filmed before id tried the bigger pieces.) In fact some bits seemed like bits of thigh. Only recommended for the spicy lovers out there, this is not a mild tasting sauce. £1.50 for a bag of 9 pieces is very easy on the pocket meaning you can stock up on a few extra bottles of the hard stuff.

The Result:



The chicken below wasn't from the same pack but a blog can never have enough pix of fried chicken and scotch. That was supper a few months ago.

Ooh Saucy!

Budget label needs a bit of work

Good sauce is essential if you want to add a little 'pizzaz' to your food. A bacon buttie is grand but its even grander when you put some brown sauce on it (and thats steak sauce to any Americans reading.) But don't be fooled into thinking the branded types are always the best. (Believe me, ive been a proper label snob and know too well how foolish this is.) Sure there are good brands on offer like HP and Daddie's Sauce but some of the 'lesser' sauces are just as good (better at times.)
Until earlier today, Id never tried Morrison's own brand brown sauce but out of curiosity I found myself popping a bottle in my trolley alongside my regualr HP. And you know something? Its GOOD! In fact its much tastier than the Guinness version of HP sauce because that tastes like day old flat lager (and in my youth I drank plenty of that so I know what im talking about.) The Tesco own brand is f**king horrid though, you need to stay away from that stuff. Morrison's generally have the better own brand groceries and no im not on their payroll.
So how much did they cost? Well HP Guinness was £2.74p while Morrison's own brand was just 38p. Normally with a price difference like that, I run for the hills (or at least to the pricier label) because when something is that much cheaper I get very wary and think it must be slop (theres the brand snobbery again.) But fear not hungry mosher! This time the supermarkets own brand is a winner. Now where did I put that bacon?