The Hottest F**kin' Sauce

Would look good on a Tesco shelf

This arrived yesterday moshers ~ The Hottest F**kin' Sauce. Id been eager to try it ever since seeing it and now that I have? Well despite the warnings and waffle printed on the bottles label, and the fact that it is a respectable 600,000 Scoville Heat Units, I didn't find it that hot. And nope, that's not some bullsh!t to try and sound macho, im simply telling it like it is (for me anyway.) If we were scoring for heat, I would give The Hottest F**kin' Sauce a 5/10. For taste it would get 9/10 because its much tastier than say Blair's Mega Death Sauce. But hey, its all about opinions right?
You can check out my video (below) to see a more 'hands on' report. But I will be getting more of this because like I say, it tastes good. Plus I wont be giving up on the heat just yet. A Motorhead sized spoonful of it on a burger, or in a curry should finally give me a deciding kick one way or other.

The two main ingredients of The Hottest F**kin' Sauce are Habanero peppers and Scotch Bonnets.

Festive Grub

The tastiest skin from a bird EVER. It might be bad for you but how can something this good be so bad? Makes chicken skim taste like lettuce. Oh my God fathers is it lush. Like an orgasm really. True story.

Below is the festive Phaal curry I make with the leftover meat. Gently fry some onions in lightly oiled saucepan, add the meat, the curry paste (I use Patak's) and pepper and chili and simmer for 15 minutes. You can add tomatoes too if thats your thing.
Oh and cook with some great metal playing in the background. I had Trivium's brilliant Ascendancy album kicking out.




Phaal Curry


Bacon and Cheese on Toast

Mega Death!!

Dare me?

Nope this has nothing to do with a certain Dave Mustaine's band but it WILL have you sweating bullets (see what I did there?) and a whole lot more I shouldn't wonder. Hold on to yer asses, this journey might get a little bumpy because my fellow moshers I give you the Mega Death Sauce! A sauce that contains ingredients 500 times HOTTER than a Jalapeno Chile. Crikey! To add to the fear factor(y) it has various 'Warnings O'Doom' on the bottle such as "Use sparingly" and "Not recommended for use without dilution". Gulp. Along with the other spices, Mega Death Sauce contains Habanero Peppers, Cayenne Peppers and Chipotle Peppers. And I simply have to try it. I can deny it to my tastebuds no longer.

Disclaimer: Warning: this product contains the hottest known ingredients on the planet earth. Please use with extreme caution.

It ARRIVED!!

Noodle Biz

Present and correct

Phall Xmas Curry

Phall curry: all my own work!

I cooked a Phall curry (a Britsh Asian Indian dish) over the holidays because Id never tried one before and as a big lover of the vindaloo I was certain I would enjoy this. And I was moshing right too! (You can see me tasting it for the first time in the vid below).
I used chicken for this curry but you can use lamb or prawns, or even sausage like I have done before with a vindaloo. It only takes 30 minutes to whip up and believe me, if you like curry on the hotter end of the scale, it really is worth making.
Ah yes the heat! Just how hot is it? Well the Phall curry got its name from the word 'phallus' which is meant to indicate how much machismo a man needs to stomach it and it is not on most Indian restraunts menus, it has to be specifically asked for by the customer. Also a lot of Curry Houses will give certificates to those who actually finish the curry but for all this hoo ha, in my opinion the Phall isn't as hot as the Vindaloo. Or at least the one I cooked wasn't, and I bunged a lot of red chilis and onion in to add strength.
Im not saying it was mild, it was hot for sure but it didn't get me reaching for the water. (In fact I didn't feel the need for any drink to cool my mouth during this meal). It didn't have the fierce heat a Vindaloo can have, I experienced a mellow burn only. The Phall is definately tasty however and this headbanger highly recommends it. Just remember that when I say it had a mild heat, its not like a Korma or anything and only fans of hot curries will enjoy this.

Bands to eat to ~ Amon Amarth, Lamb Of God