Festive Grub

The tastiest skin from a bird EVER. It might be bad for you but how can something this good be so bad? Makes chicken skim taste like lettuce. Oh my God fathers is it lush. Like an orgasm really. True story.

Below is the festive Phaal curry I make with the leftover meat. Gently fry some onions in lightly oiled saucepan, add the meat, the curry paste (I use Patak's) and pepper and chili and simmer for 15 minutes. You can add tomatoes too if thats your thing.
Oh and cook with some great metal playing in the background. I had Trivium's brilliant Ascendancy album kicking out.




Phaal Curry


Bacon and Cheese on Toast

Britain's BIG Fry Up!

I need to go here. Or better still, I wish a local cafe would create something similar. Not saying it would be easy, far from it, the potatoes would make it harder for me because im not a fan of hash browns in a fry up, but I would certainly do a much better job than the guy in this video. Ive eaten large fried breakfasts in Ireland (not this big obviously but big) and always finished them with room for a bit more so I would be confident in getting my £15 back. Im starving now.

Herr Bakon

In Fry We Trust

Quick! Call the health police, I just fried bacon AND bread! Oh my f**king God, im such a hedonist. Frying food? Don't I know that grilling is better? Well NO its not. Grills are only good for cheese on toast.

To Fry and Defy

A couple of years ago we had a powercut in the A.M. just as I wanted a Welsh Fr Up. Well there's as much chance of me getting a date with Dame Helen Mirren (although I still live in hope) as there is of me going without a cooked breakfast so what to do? Dig out the camping stove and fry of course!

Cure for Veggies!

No words need really to be said. Go on veggies lick the screen! Then cease thy silly abstinence from meat and get thee to a butchers. Once there, order a few pounds of bacon rashers then get on home (after having bought a dozen eggs also). Turn on an oven hot plate and put a frying pan on top, with a dollop of oil/lard in it. When sufficiently hot enough, fy the bacon first, then the egg. By now your nostrils will assaulted by such an intoxicating smell, the smell of sizzling swine, that resistance will be futile and you will begin to realise what a fool you have been.
Once fried to perfection, put the bacon/eggs, that magical combination, inbetween two slices of buttered bread. Add brown sauce if it pleases you. A mug of tea is the preferred beverage to accompany this. Now eat! And you are now cured.

Welsh Caviar

Truly Delicious (capital D)

One of the first things I do when I find myself in Swansea (which I did yesterday) is head to the market in order to buy that holiest of Welsh delicacies, Penclawdd laverbread. You simply cannot make a traditional Welsh breakfast without it: bacon fried with laverbread and cockles is a stunning meal. Every forkful sending you into orgasmic fits. And no, im not exaggerrating!
So what is this laverbread? In Welsh its called Bara Lafwr, and all it is is seaweed that is collected from the shore and boiled for a few hours before being shredded and pureed.
Its nicknmaed the Welsh caviar but to be honest its much better than caviar, which is quite bland next to it. Unbelievably some folk don't like laverbread, but these have either never tried it (boring) or have deficent tastebuds and in this case they really ought to get them remedied because life is undoubtedly the poorer without Bara Lafwr in it. Again no exaggerration. Of course I could say its good that some dislike it because that means theres more for those of us blessed with a working palate but people should like it, no ifs or buts. Its bloody delicious!
Laverbread can be pretty expensive in some places but it needn't be. Its easy to harvest and make it at home, especially if you are lucky enough to live on the coast. My hometown is Burry Port which faces Penclawdd and the Gower, so I always had an amply bounty of it along with cockles. Good for you too, its packed with iron and has more than enough minerals to get you going in the morning.

Music to eat to ~ Dafydd Iwan, Max Boyce


Todays breakfast: minus cockles but still fabulous!

Another Cheeze Roadkill

Perfection in a bun

I know ive written about my famous Cheeze Roadkills before but this one I made a few days ago was SO PERFECT that I just had to post a piccy of it here. Is your mouth watering? Is there a tingle running down your spine? There should be because this Roadkill was paradise in a bun! It was so tasty I wanted it to last forever. Boy was it GOOOOD!
So easy to make too as all you need is bacon, cheese (mature cheddar) and a bread roll.

Music to eat to ~ anything.Bacon is fine with anything!

Steve's Cheeze Roadkill

Great with Guiness

First off, kindly ignore those poor excuses for bacon rashers. I was trying out a new butchers and he f**ked up and served me streaky instead of back cushion of swine, which is what I usually prefer. This particular meat vendor has since been sentenced to week's sobriety whilst being only able to listen to Katy Perry. He's lucky my bullwhip was in the wash.
Anyway, its easy enough to see what my recent snack has been; bacon with mature cheddar cheese slowly melted on top like a greasy mistress eager for some mouth action. I call this a cheeze roadkill™. The good old fried egg is usually this headbangers first choice in a swine sarnie but I had a lot of cheese left over from a salad (a salad?? Concerned editor) so decided on a change of sandwich.
All you need to do is get some back bacon (its also called a middle cut), grill until crispy then throw some graated cheese over it and melt slowly. Tomato ketchup isn't the best sauce to go with this, so use good old HP brown sauce. You can toast the bread if you prefer but personally I find toasted bread takes away the flavour of the bacon, but hey, each to his own and all of that. Guiness is a grand accompaniment to a plate of cheeze roadkill.

Music to chow down to ~ Motorhead, Circus Of Power, Chrome Division, Black Label Society.

N.B. Cheeze Roadkill™ is registered trademark owned by the author of this here blog. Any attempt to use it without acknowledging the author will result in you being hunted by a shadowy organisation who use boiling fat and kebabs on word magpies.

Nuke The Swine!

Nuked!

The above was an experiment I cooked up (or should that be 'nuked up'?) just over an hour ago for lunch. After another busy morning I just felt lazy and decided to gather up my bacon and chips (fries for American readers) and zap them in the microwave. I then did the same with the poached eggs. PING!
But how did it go? And would it get me through a Hatebreed gig?
Well on the plus side, it was all cooked in around six minutes and because no nasty fats wre used (nasty to doctors that is, I love fats), its a very healthy method of cooking. So good news on that front.
But what of the all important taste? Well here is where the downer comes in. The eggs were fine, no problem but the bacon was very bland and chewy. I couldn't even eat the rind which is the part I like the most! Miss Piggy's sacrifice was sadly in vain for this dish and the chips weren't much better. Edible but soggy and pale, nothing like the glory that is chips cooked in a deep fat fryer. Indeed had I not chucked on genourous helpings of salt and brown sauce I wouldn't even have finished it. **shock**
Oh well, I tried, but this meal wouldn't have got me through a few Babychams at a Kylie Minogue gig, nevermind Jagerbombs with Hatebreed.

Bacon With A Difference

Food To Crash Your Heart Too

That plate of fried goodiness above won't do your arteries any favours but its the perfect remedy after a night on the sauce (the alcoholic kind, not HP). Bacon Grill, sausage, egg, tomato and fried bread. "But what is this Bacon Grill stuff all about?" I hear you ask. Its simply canned pork, which when fried tastes a bit like bacon. Think Spam and you'd be pretty close.
Its not very popular outside the UK, and a lot of Britons don't much like it either, but I friggen' LOVE THE STUFF! Granted its probably one of the unhealthiest food stuffs on the market, considering all that mulched pork rind that goes into it, but since we've recently discovered that supermarkets are passing all kinds of weird fish off as cod, im not too worried.
If you can find a shop that stocks Bacon Grill I highly recommend that you try it fellow moshers. But one warning: its quite filling stuff so go easy on the amount of 'rashers' you chuck in the frying pan.

The Classic

Succulent piggy

If ever there was a classic snack then a swine sarnie is numero uno. Moshpits the world over would be less of a body slam were it not for the pig sandwich. They have healing properties I swear. Hungover? Fry some bacon, lay on the butter and HP brown sauce and voila ! Ready for another round of Jagerbombs and Slayer !!