Crimbo Socks Clean Off

Psycho Scratchins x12

Quick recap over the Christmas snacks over 2013 (most were HOT)


spices, pickles, peanuts



Breakfast laverbread & egg

Curry Bombin' Rissoles

The RissoDaloo™

Heads up Moshers, I bring you lucky headbangers yet another exclusive culinary experience that im pretty certain you haven't tried anywhere else. I call it the RissoDaloo™ and needless to say, it kicks f**king ass! Colour me proud, I love it when a plan comes together (cheers Hannibal!) You want to know something? I don't want to blow an eight ton trumpet here but if it wasn't for folk like me, Mankind would never have discovered the Hot Dog or Cheeseburger. Hashtag FACT.
I love messing around with favourite snacks, and adding my own wicked little twist.
Sometimes it ends up as Epic Fail, like that time I tried a pie sandwich (too 'bready') but occasionally I nail it and we get bacon! Or spicy rissole in this instance. Consistency wise the RissoDaloo™ was slightly thick and heavy but I suspect throwing a handful of chips (fries) onto the plate would solve this. Couple of important points to consider however: adjust sauce to whatever heat level you are comfortable with (Da Bomb will be too hot for newbies) and stick to buying readymade Vindaloo sauce from supermarkets. Why? Because generally these types are not full whack Vindaloo strength, the last thing you want to be doing is adding hot sauce to a good homemade curry (a well made Vindaloo is hot enough.)
Now im not going to say my new creation is gonna change the face of planet, pizza style but if you ever fancy a spicy munch with a definite difference, then my RissoDaloo™ is well worth a shot.


Into the pot

The Toothless Vindaloo

A Carmarthen favourite

Ask a Carmarthen local which Indian restaurant/takeaway is best and there is a good chance they will tell you its Ginger. Read the reviews on websites like TripAdvisor, those will say the same thing. Fancy a good curry in west Wales? Ginger is the place to be. I would normally agree too, only recently they lost a chef to a rival restaurant and when I ordered a takeout from there last Friday, it wasn't up to their usual great standard. Maybe it was an off night? (Though eateries should never have those.) Or perhaps more care is taken with sit down meals? Who knows, but the meal I had was nothing special.
Being a big fan of hot and spicy grub, I naturally ordered a Lamb Vindaloo, special fried rice and chips (fries) but as soon as I had peeled off the cardboard cover of my rice, I knew I was going to be disappointed. The rice looked too yellow, like the cheap stuff you see in supermarkets and the chips were hard. Im a big fan of chips bought in Indian takeaways, they are usually chunky and golden, often better than those found at chippys (fish & chip shops) but these were a very poor show. And as for the Vindaloo itself? It seriously could have passed for a Pasanda or a Bhuna. It was mild to say the least and as for breaking out in sweat? Not a chance! Now I readily admit that due my habit of smashing hot sauces over every meal, my tolerance for spicy food has increased tenfold but come on! A Vindaloo should never be compared to a f**king Pasanda. Im willing to bet that a Korma fan would have coped with it.
I take no pleasure in writing this. In fact I am genuinely sorry to have to write such a negative article about a local place but its the truth my friends. Even the free poppadum was soft.

Feasts of Metal rating: 2/5

My Lamb Vindaloo

Plant Page Curry Combo

Yummy for the tummy

All Hail (capital H hail) moshers! I bring to thee another wonderful meal which won't cost the earth but will almost certainly make it MOVE! Not to mention light you up like a firecracker up an arsonists azz. All you need is a Mayflower beef curry (can be bought in Farmfoods £1.39p) a carton of their egg fried rice (75p) and a teaspoon of Blair's Ultra Death hot sauce (800,000 Scoville Heat Units of hot.) Takes around 8 minutes of nuking in the micro (but you can use the oven) and the taste? F**king DIVINE, proper bloody lusho!
Its like a moshpit on yer tongue but BEWARE ONLY CHILIHEADS NEED APPLY because at 800,000 SHU, the Death sauce turns this usually tame curry into a ravenous sabre toothed kitty cat on the hunt for your screaming, melting innards. Im not joking either, regular readers of this blog will know from previous posts that the Ultra Death sauce isn't messing around.
I have added Blairs to many curries over the last few months but Mayflowers has brought the best results. Its truly very tasty. Also, unlike other readymade curries who skimp on the meat, Mayflowers has a tidy bit of beef in there, so be careful not to overcook (over nuke?) in the micro because if you do? It gets tough.
If you enjoy Vindaloo, this is a decent alternative if you can't be fussed with heading out to a takeaway. In fact its better when you compare it to some of the shoddier takeaways lurking on our high streets. It was definitely a great way to finish off my bottle of Ultra Death (see empty bottle below.) So I had better sign off this post and get ordering more!

Bah

Dave's Burning Nuts

Dave's Burning Nuts! Not too hot (in my humble opinion) but to be fair to Dave, I think my tolerance for hot foods has shot up since I discovered the wicked world of hot sauce. So to anyone not familiar with the beautiful burn, these peanuts will probably blow their pants off. I still enjoyed them mind, 50x better than a packet of regular dry roasted, and there was a pleasant tingle in the back of my throat after a few fistfuls. I guess I expected the whack of a super hot. I will be buying the "Da Bomb Nuts" next, which i'm told are a wee bit hotter but I would still give Dave's Nuts a solid 7/10 because they are a darned fine peanut which has a pleasant tingle about them. Crisps? F**k that, get some snacks that belong in the metal world inside you.

*If you fancy trying them for yourself, head on over to Dr Burnorium's Hot Sauce Emporium and he'll sort you out good. A fine fellow, tell him I sent you.

Fiery burp

The Hottest F**kin' Sauce

Would look good on a Tesco shelf

This arrived yesterday moshers ~ The Hottest F**kin' Sauce. Id been eager to try it ever since seeing it and now that I have? Well despite the warnings and waffle printed on the bottles label, and the fact that it is a respectable 600,000 Scoville Heat Units, I didn't find it that hot. And nope, that's not some bullsh!t to try and sound macho, im simply telling it like it is (for me anyway.) If we were scoring for heat, I would give The Hottest F**kin' Sauce a 5/10. For taste it would get 9/10 because its much tastier than say Blair's Mega Death Sauce. But hey, its all about opinions right?
You can check out my video (below) to see a more 'hands on' report. But I will be getting more of this because like I say, it tastes good. Plus I wont be giving up on the heat just yet. A Motorhead sized spoonful of it on a burger, or in a curry should finally give me a deciding kick one way or other.

The two main ingredients of The Hottest F**kin' Sauce are Habanero peppers and Scotch Bonnets.

Icarus Wings

Not hot but tasty!

Discovered some hot sauces in the supermarkets a few days ago and seeing as ive become a big fan of them, it would have been rude for me not to have picked them up. The sauce in the pic cost just £2 from Tesco, a Heinz ~ Yellow Habanero. "A fiery yellow chilli sauce with sweetness to balance its searing heat." The guff on their website claims. "Ideal for splashing over pizza, pasta, stir fries, chicken, burgers and much more."
Now its a tidy sauce, lush as we say here in Wales but its certainly not "searing heat." Not even close! Hell if Heinz call this "searing heat", Id love to see them try Blair's Death range sauces. It IS tasty though, has a gentle sweetness to it with just a tiny nip to let you know that its trying to be a hot sauce and I will get more. They have two others as well: Chipotle & Garlic (a smokey, medium spiced sauce with a tasty note of garlic) and Green Jalapeño (a hot sauce with a very tangy, almost pickled taste) so will check those out too.

Cannibal Sauce!

A Wylde time

Blair's awesome hot (really hot!) sauces have teamed up with the equally cool Zakk Wylde to bring the world Zakk's Shot to Hell Sauce! Part of the blurb reads; the hottest sauce in Zakk's line, this one separates the men from the boys. Be warned, it contains ingredients 600 times hotter than a jalapeño chili. Use sparingly. Not recommended for use without dilution.

So same strength as the Mega Death Sauce? This is going to be the Feasts next purchase to try for the blog. Come to think about it,the hot sauce/metal combo is a f**king great one. Both compliment each other in their extreme versions of their particular talent. Slayer need to team up with Blair and create the Angel Of Death Sauce! Motorhead too, the Killed By Death Sauce! (Blair like to use the word 'death' in their product.) Theres no end to the possibilities, and the more I think about it, the more I feel it would be a raoring success. Hell's blls even the imagery with fire and skulls suit both bnads and sauce.



Beware!

Festive Grub

The tastiest skin from a bird EVER. It might be bad for you but how can something this good be so bad? Makes chicken skim taste like lettuce. Oh my God fathers is it lush. Like an orgasm really. True story.

Below is the festive Phaal curry I make with the leftover meat. Gently fry some onions in lightly oiled saucepan, add the meat, the curry paste (I use Patak's) and pepper and chili and simmer for 15 minutes. You can add tomatoes too if thats your thing.
Oh and cook with some great metal playing in the background. I had Trivium's brilliant Ascendancy album kicking out.




Phaal Curry


Bacon and Cheese on Toast

Mega Death!!

Dare me?

Nope this has nothing to do with a certain Dave Mustaine's band but it WILL have you sweating bullets (see what I did there?) and a whole lot more I shouldn't wonder. Hold on to yer asses, this journey might get a little bumpy because my fellow moshers I give you the Mega Death Sauce! A sauce that contains ingredients 500 times HOTTER than a Jalapeno Chile. Crikey! To add to the fear factor(y) it has various 'Warnings O'Doom' on the bottle such as "Use sparingly" and "Not recommended for use without dilution". Gulp. Along with the other spices, Mega Death Sauce contains Habanero Peppers, Cayenne Peppers and Chipotle Peppers. And I simply have to try it. I can deny it to my tastebuds no longer.

Disclaimer: Warning: this product contains the hottest known ingredients on the planet earth. Please use with extreme caution.

It ARRIVED!!

Vindaloo Soup

Yup you read it right! Vindaloo Soup, I went against the naysayers, ignored the doubters and just went ahead and made it. Grabbed a packet of Hidi Grand vindaloo paste (50p from Home Bargains), heated it on a hob without meat (hey it was almost vegan hehe) and tipped it into a bowl. Bingo!
So how did I come up with the idea? Am I so BADASS that im willing to eat 'raw' vindaloo curry? Truth is I was feeling a little under the weather but was tired of boring old chicken soup, so decided a bit more horsepower was needed (emphasis on 'power' not 'horse'.) And do you know what? It wasn't half bad either! In fact if I had used a better curry paste and not some cheap stuff from Home Bargains this would have been fairly f**king awesome! Cleared my sinus headache lovely.
Another bonus was it restored my appetite. Weird huh? Curry seems to have this effect on me, I might be suffering from the dodgiest of stomach pains (very rare due to Ox-like constitution) but one whiff of a strong curry and im healed like Jesus on a leper.


Just add bread