Crimbo Socks Clean Off

Psycho Scratchins x12

Quick recap over the Christmas snacks over 2013 (most were HOT)


spices, pickles, peanuts



Breakfast laverbread & egg

Psycho Scratchin's

Come to papa!

Man has been searching for the perfect 'pub snack' ever since we brewed that first beer. Alcohol gives you the munchies, and for a while, bags of salted peanuts (pinned to cardboard featuring a naked woman, remember those?) seemed to be the Daddy. Not any more, daddy has found a hotter model. And when I say HOT, think Christie Brinkley wearing nothing but high heels, a come-to-bed smile and holding a neon sign saying F**KING HOT.
Ladies and gentlemen, moshers and maggots, I bring thee Psycho Scratchin's! Or rather Dr Burnorium (www.hotsauceemporium.co.uk) does, since he is the evil genius behind these fabulously, fiery snacks of awesome. Yup, the creator of Psycho Juice hot sauce has gone and done it again. Praise the lord (of hot stuff.) I didn't think pork crackling could get better but holy sweet pepper, Psycho Scratchin's are the dog's wotsits. It took all my willpower, paper thin at the best of times, not to eat three bags in one go. Moreish isn't the word (well it is but you know what I mean.)
Delicious pork rind liberally dusted with Ghost Pepper (Naga Jolokia) with a satisfying crunch, and as a bonus these don't taste half as salty as inferior crackling. I love the heat of these too, face melt for sure, but a very pleasant face melt! (See me eating them in vid below.) If you fancy something different, put down that dry roasted peanut, and head on over to Dr Burnorium's Hot Sauce Emporium and order some. I guarantee you'll be back for more, these are special indeed.
Now this is the third time I have featured Dr Burnorium's sauces and snacks in my blogs and before anyone starts wondering if I am on his payroll or not, nope, im not. The reason for these 'reviews' is simple; when I discover a fantastic product I get excited (like getting a new Slayer album,) I want to share it with others so they don't miss out, I want to 'give it props' as our American cousins would say. Go tell it on the mountain! Or perhaps volcano would be more apt in this case since these Scratchin's are like little lava chunks, waiting to melt in yer gob in a fireball of great flavour and wicked heat.
So no payroll here, just a very satisfied customer who will keep returning for more Psycho Juice awesomness. Pain shouldn't taste this good.

Roast Pork

Don't forget the apple sauce!

This headbanger has yet to meet anyone who DOESN'T like a Roast Dinner. (Actually make that LOVE a Roast Dinner). They may exist but I sure as Johnnie Walker Red haven't met one in this corner of West Wales. They are a great tradition here in Britain and cooked every sunday as a family meal. I have wonderful memories of sunday dinner in my grandmothers house, hanging on her hem for bits of pork crackling/rind or chicken skin. And the kitchen aromas! Truly fabulous!
The dinner in the above photo is roast pork with potatoes (roasted and mashed), swede, parsnip, broccoli, Yourkshire pudding, stuffing and apple sauce. And all credit must go to She Who Must Be Obeyed™ (my better half, Nicola) because I goofed off to play videogames this time. (I do help in the kitchen usually).
There is quite a skill to cooking a sunday roast because of the many foods you must have on the go at the same time. Timing is everything unless you want to be eating the vegetables an hour before the meat. To be quite honest before I left home to start out under my own steam, I never dreamt I would ever be able to cook a roast dinner. It seemed very daunting because everytime I entertained thoughts of making one, my mind was filled with the memories of numerous pots and pans in my grandmothers house, all bubbling with different veggies, whilst the meat was basted at regular intervals. It looked like a culinary mayhem and I was initially put off.
But not for long. Hunger is a marvelous thing.

Music to eat to ~ Disturbed, Robert Plant, Alice Cooper

Cracking Crackling

Heres some I made earlier

Another lovely snack im almost addicted to is Pork Crackling (Pork Rind in the US). Ignore the tiny packets that supermarkets are fond of selling because these are nothing compared to the real deal crackling you can get from the butcher. Or even better make it yourself! It couldn't be easier if it got up and bunged itself in the oven.
First get yer pork skin/rind from the butchers or supermarket. Morrisons sell two 'rolls' of it for around 70p. Before putting them in the oven, coat the skins with oil then cook for 45~55mins. Be careful when you take them out as the roasting dish will be hot, even with oven gloves!
After they are done, put on some Bolt Thrower and break the Crackling into nice bite sized pieces.

Music to peck to ~ Anthrax

The Baker Failed Me

The offending Pork Pie; to the bin Porky

I like Pork Pies when they're well made. Pie makers Melton Mowbray and the lesser known Haigh's, both make cracking Pork Pies that when added to a salad (or simply eaten with a cold pint of beer) it makes a lip smacking treat.
Alas not everyone has the magic Porker touch. Certainly Morrison's supermarket don't, if the Pork Pie I just had is anything to go by. After all the hulabaloo they make in the television ads over having in store bakers, I thought I was on pretty safe snacking ground. How wrong I was! It was very fatty, much more than usual for a pie, and the pastry also tasted of lard. And this is coming from a headbanger who loves things like bacon rind and the fat on steak. I couldn't finish it which is a first for me with pie.

Music to be sick to ~ Pink, Lady GaGa, Katy Perry

Mouth Full of Chops

Delicious ~ Pork Doorstops

Pork is one of my favourite meats (especially Belly Pork) and it can be roasted, grilled, fried or chucked on the barbecue. The Chops in the photo were grilled (20 mins on medium heat) and were fantastic! When buying Pork I recommend you ignore supermarkets and head to the butchers for your meat. Not that there is anything particularly wrong with the supermarkets (some do have fine butchers in their store), but I love the personal touch that local butchers have and they know your favourite cuts.
Care must be taken when cooking Pork however. Cook for too long and it becomes much too chewy and all you end up with is tired jawbones. As I say, 20 minutes under a medium grill is perfect. For a little added flavour (and im revealing a cooking secret here) I melt a knob of butter over the Chops a minute before they are ready. Tastes great make no mistake!
I have two favourite Porky meals; with Chips and Egg like above, or with Roast Potatoes. My late mother used to cook Belly Pork with Roasties in the middle of the week and its a tradition that im very happy to keep going. Cheers Mum!

Music to eat to ~ Testamnet, Walls Of Jericho, Dark Angel, Acid Reign.

A Tongue In The Ribs

Ribs: Always wanting more.

Pork ribs, preferably smothered in barbecue sauce, are a bloody delicious (not to mention messy) meal to have whilst shanting (boozing) I remember first having pork ribs in barbie sauce in 1985 when the first Chinese takeaway opened in my hometown and thats the dish my 14 year old self picked from the very weird looking menu. (Bear in mind foreign food was really rare to find back then in such a small town).
So this has always been a firm favourite when I get my mucky paws on it. And boy do I get mucky ! Grease, sauce and alcohol smear my chops like I was a modern day, Mastodon loving, tattooed Henry VIII ! F**king right. These beauties only take 30 mins in the oven, so there is no danger of falling into a Jag induced coma while waiting for them to cook. Personally when im shanting I eat them on their own (around 8 ribs) with a few slices of bread. Sure you can add egg fried rice or a few chips (fries) but I find that too much to pass out on, and the f**king mess rice makes when one is blotto is crazy. You keep finding rice behind the cushions and by the cat bowl a week after eating it.
No, ribs and booze is fine. Best tunes to eat it to ~ Cannibal Corpse, WASP, Obituary, Turisas.