Wasabi Ghost

Lidl are pretty good at running these 'flavours of the world' weeks, and despite their Mexican week consisting mainly of chilli con carne and Fajitas, this weeks Asian one has had some decent goodies filling the shelves, including these Wasabi Nuts that I grabbed for 99p. Wasabi isn't much used in foods in the UK and being a fan of hotter grub, I had to try some. Bloody nice they were too, very moreish, much more so than boring old Pringles (never did understand the fuss over those anyway).
I recommend the Cassava Crackers too. Oh and Coconut water. Its fast become a sober favourite. Just make sure you chill the tins, I imagine warm coconut water tasting none to good.

Colon Cleaning for Moshers

There. A work of Art

What is this you feast your eyes upon?! A cheesy, battered sandwich of doom! (Nothing was fried though and I don't use butter so it wasn't ALL bad.) Sometimes you gotta throw caution (and yer waistline) to the wind and eat dangerously. What good is a life spent munching on lettuce and muesli? And you can't put the awesome Professor Phardtpounder's Colon Cleaner on muesli. (Well you could but I suspect it wouldn't taste very nice). Ever since I first bought a bottle of Colon Cleaner (from Dr Burnorium's Hot Sauce Emporium) I have been smashing it on everything from bacon sarnies to chicken wings, so darned tasty! A Caribbean style, mustard-based sauce with Scotch Bonnet peppers but don't worry! Its nowhere near in the same league, heat wise, as say Blair's Mega Death so even newbies would handle his bad boy sauce. In fact if you are a fan of regular old mustard, you will enjoy this.
So what went into this epic sarnie of doom? Crispy chicken portion, onion rings (breadcrumbs), tomato, all topped off with delicious melted, stringed cheddar cheese and slapped between two slices of unbuttered toast. All grilled and served with hefty dollops of Prof Phardtpounder's Colon Cleaner. Spiffing chaps and chapesses, absolutely bloody SPIFFING! I think I deserve a massive pat on the back and tons of applause for creating such a marvellous work of Art.

Curry Bombin' Rissoles

The RissoDaloo™

Heads up Moshers, I bring you lucky headbangers yet another exclusive culinary experience that im pretty certain you haven't tried anywhere else. I call it the RissoDaloo™ and needless to say, it kicks f**king ass! Colour me proud, I love it when a plan comes together (cheers Hannibal!) You want to know something? I don't want to blow an eight ton trumpet here but if it wasn't for folk like me, Mankind would never have discovered the Hot Dog or Cheeseburger. Hashtag FACT.
I love messing around with favourite snacks, and adding my own wicked little twist.
Sometimes it ends up as Epic Fail, like that time I tried a pie sandwich (too 'bready') but occasionally I nail it and we get bacon! Or spicy rissole in this instance. Consistency wise the RissoDaloo™ was slightly thick and heavy but I suspect throwing a handful of chips (fries) onto the plate would solve this. Couple of important points to consider however: adjust sauce to whatever heat level you are comfortable with (Da Bomb will be too hot for newbies) and stick to buying readymade Vindaloo sauce from supermarkets. Why? Because generally these types are not full whack Vindaloo strength, the last thing you want to be doing is adding hot sauce to a good homemade curry (a well made Vindaloo is hot enough.)
Now im not going to say my new creation is gonna change the face of planet, pizza style but if you ever fancy a spicy munch with a definite difference, then my RissoDaloo™ is well worth a shot.


Into the pot

Dave's Burning Nuts

Dave's Burning Nuts! Not too hot (in my humble opinion) but to be fair to Dave, I think my tolerance for hot foods has shot up since I discovered the wicked world of hot sauce. So to anyone not familiar with the beautiful burn, these peanuts will probably blow their pants off. I still enjoyed them mind, 50x better than a packet of regular dry roasted, and there was a pleasant tingle in the back of my throat after a few fistfuls. I guess I expected the whack of a super hot. I will be buying the "Da Bomb Nuts" next, which i'm told are a wee bit hotter but I would still give Dave's Nuts a solid 7/10 because they are a darned fine peanut which has a pleasant tingle about them. Crisps? F**k that, get some snacks that belong in the metal world inside you.

*If you fancy trying them for yourself, head on over to Dr Burnorium's Hot Sauce Emporium and he'll sort you out good. A fine fellow, tell him I sent you.

Fiery burp

The Beans Are Coming

You will be needing Balls

Quite fancy being a foody agony aunt today so here goes:

"I like to read British mysteries. Strangely, the food most often mentioned in this genre is "beans on toast", evidently an everyday item used for breakfast lunch or dinner (at least according to the authors). Being a lover of (Boston type) baked beans, I tried some on wheat toast. Didn't seem to be different enough to make it worthwhile. Am I missing something? Did I use the right kind of beans or bread? Could some Brits fill in the blanks here?"

Sure can my Colonial chum! What you will be needing:

1. Good quality bread is a MUST, woe betide if you opt for cheap own brand supermarket scut.
2. Ditto baked beans. You really DO NOT want to be choosing the 21p "value" beans. Nothing "snobby" about it, the cheap baked beans have a high salt content. Mind you Heinz could be accused of being too salty as well, so I use Branston.

While the baked beans are simmering on the hob (I suppose you could nuke them in the microwave but im old fashioned) toast a slice of bread. Some like it almost burnt but me? I prefer a light toasting so that the toast is the colour of a matchstick. Make sure you butter the toast while its hot so that all that buttery goodness melts into the bread. This is important! As soon as the beans are hot (hot not warm) pour them over the toast. Serve and enjoy!
I know a lot of folks like to eat this snack with their hands but using a knife and fork is usually the wisest method because it prevents the beans and tomato sauce (not ketchup) spilling all over your lap/carpet/cat. Only use your hands if you are stingy in slopping out the beans but don't be a beany miser, pour that sh!t on good!
If you happen to have some good Cheddar cheese lurking in the fridge (definitely not that processed rubbish) melt some of that and plonk it on top of the baked beans. Makes a great dish even tastier! Of course if you want extra flavour but don't like cheese, the braver readers among you could do what I do and put some HOT SAUCE over the beans. It really adds a pleasant nip, and my personal recommendation would be Psycho Juice Red Savina by the evil (but in a good way) Dr Burnorium. His Psycho Juice range are fantastic.

Farmfoods: Spicy Wings

Farmfoods has become a great place to stock up on frozen junk food at wallet friendly prices. Feasts Of Metal cannot ignore this and since one has recently opened in Carmarthen (near MacDonalds), ive decided to share some tasty goodies. If you've never been there, seriously do so. They charge signicantly lower prices than what Tesco or Morrosons do. £1 for 4 turkey burgers, £2 chicken nuggets, £1 battered/crumbed onion rings. Ideal for parties or barbecues.

Spicy chicken wings


Chicken (buffalo) wings are not as popular here as they are in the United States for some reason (wise up people!) but they are a perfect snack to have on picnics or during movies/rugby matches/gaming marathons. (Ive even taken them into the cinema!) You can create different dips and sauces too so that things don't get samey.
To be honest I wan't expecting great things from these wings from Farmfoods but I was happy to have been proved otherwise. Really tasty and quite meaty too considering they are only chicken wings. (I know in the video below I say theres not much meat on them but that was filmed before id tried the bigger pieces.) In fact some bits seemed like bits of thigh. Only recommended for the spicy lovers out there, this is not a mild tasting sauce. £1.50 for a bag of 9 pieces is very easy on the pocket meaning you can stock up on a few extra bottles of the hard stuff.

The Result:



The chicken below wasn't from the same pack but a blog can never have enough pix of fried chicken and scotch. That was supper a few months ago.