The Beans Are Coming

You will be needing Balls

Quite fancy being a foody agony aunt today so here goes:

"I like to read British mysteries. Strangely, the food most often mentioned in this genre is "beans on toast", evidently an everyday item used for breakfast lunch or dinner (at least according to the authors). Being a lover of (Boston type) baked beans, I tried some on wheat toast. Didn't seem to be different enough to make it worthwhile. Am I missing something? Did I use the right kind of beans or bread? Could some Brits fill in the blanks here?"

Sure can my Colonial chum! What you will be needing:

1. Good quality bread is a MUST, woe betide if you opt for cheap own brand supermarket scut.
2. Ditto baked beans. You really DO NOT want to be choosing the 21p "value" beans. Nothing "snobby" about it, the cheap baked beans have a high salt content. Mind you Heinz could be accused of being too salty as well, so I use Branston.

While the baked beans are simmering on the hob (I suppose you could nuke them in the microwave but im old fashioned) toast a slice of bread. Some like it almost burnt but me? I prefer a light toasting so that the toast is the colour of a matchstick. Make sure you butter the toast while its hot so that all that buttery goodness melts into the bread. This is important! As soon as the beans are hot (hot not warm) pour them over the toast. Serve and enjoy!
I know a lot of folks like to eat this snack with their hands but using a knife and fork is usually the wisest method because it prevents the beans and tomato sauce (not ketchup) spilling all over your lap/carpet/cat. Only use your hands if you are stingy in slopping out the beans but don't be a beany miser, pour that sh!t on good!
If you happen to have some good Cheddar cheese lurking in the fridge (definitely not that processed rubbish) melt some of that and plonk it on top of the baked beans. Makes a great dish even tastier! Of course if you want extra flavour but don't like cheese, the braver readers among you could do what I do and put some HOT SAUCE over the beans. It really adds a pleasant nip, and my personal recommendation would be Psycho Juice Red Savina by the evil (but in a good way) Dr Burnorium. His Psycho Juice range are fantastic.

Tea and a Pastie

Better than a Kit Kat

If you happen to come from West Wales you should be familiar with the saying "a cup of tea and a paaastie!" Its commonly said in a Swansea accent because enjoying tea and pasties during a break from doing something is what the Swansea Jacks like to do. Im not sure if everyone in my part of Wales has heard of this but people I know personally certainly have. (And as its been mentioned in Welsh comedies I know I haven't dreamt the saying up).
Okay this snack wouldn't see you through a Machine Head gig but it is a very satisfying little peck. Be warned though! Not any old pastie will do. For instance having a cuppa with a Cornish pastie would be what we in this corner of Wales would call doing it wrong mun.
It has to be a corned beef pastie usually bought at either Jenkins or Gregg's bakeries. But if you happen to be in Swansea itself then do it properly and grab yourself a bag of four pasties (for £1.50p) from one of the fabulous bakers in the famous indoor market. Davies of Mumbles is a very good choice.
As I am not very sweet toothed and live quite happily without biscuits, this is what I go for on my tea breaks, occasionally straying with a cheese & onion pastie but it never tastes as good with a mug of Glengetti than a corned beef.

Music to eat to ~ Dafydd Iwan, Max Boyce