Colon Cleaning for Moshers

There. A work of Art

What is this you feast your eyes upon?! A cheesy, battered sandwich of doom! (Nothing was fried though and I don't use butter so it wasn't ALL bad.) Sometimes you gotta throw caution (and yer waistline) to the wind and eat dangerously. What good is a life spent munching on lettuce and muesli? And you can't put the awesome Professor Phardtpounder's Colon Cleaner on muesli. (Well you could but I suspect it wouldn't taste very nice). Ever since I first bought a bottle of Colon Cleaner (from Dr Burnorium's Hot Sauce Emporium) I have been smashing it on everything from bacon sarnies to chicken wings, so darned tasty! A Caribbean style, mustard-based sauce with Scotch Bonnet peppers but don't worry! Its nowhere near in the same league, heat wise, as say Blair's Mega Death so even newbies would handle his bad boy sauce. In fact if you are a fan of regular old mustard, you will enjoy this.
So what went into this epic sarnie of doom? Crispy chicken portion, onion rings (breadcrumbs), tomato, all topped off with delicious melted, stringed cheddar cheese and slapped between two slices of unbuttered toast. All grilled and served with hefty dollops of Prof Phardtpounder's Colon Cleaner. Spiffing chaps and chapesses, absolutely bloody SPIFFING! I think I deserve a massive pat on the back and tons of applause for creating such a marvellous work of Art.

Spam Fritters

Looks greasy, tastes great!

I like Spam. I know it gets knocked around as 'World War II food' because of its popularity due to rationing in the 1940's but I care not. I like the stuff. And its versatile too because it will go with almost anything. Salads, chips, rice, eggs, you name it. I can't understand folk not liking Spam, afterall its only chopped pork shoulder meat & ham. Just add batter for fritters. Whats not to like?
as you can see, I cooked a few baked spuds to go with them and im happy to report it was a success. Huzzah! By the way those dollops of what look like butter on the potatoes, are not butter at all but Cheese spread. Added artery buster granted but its not like I cook this every day. Moderation.


Wouldn't it just!

Gie Her A Haggis!

Battered Haggis with chips

Now before I get buried underneath a wall of anger with folk yelling "those are not real Haggis! Boo! Hiss!" No this dish did not consist of a regular type of Haggis. These were in fact Haggis Bites that I bought from Farmfoods, but it should matter not dear moshers because they are still made with real Haggis and when all is said and done, Haggis is Haggis right?
But what is it exactly? What is this food that the Scots have made so famous? Basically it is the heart, lungs and liver of a sheep, called the sheep's 'pluck' and is minced with oatmeal, suet, onion, salt and spices. If you were to cook it in the way tradition dictates then you would simmer this mixture in the sheep's stomach. (2 ~ 3hrs should do it).
Were you to follow the route of tradition further, you would serve Haggis with 'neeps and tatties' (Scottish for swede, turnips and potatoes). I veered off the route (like I often do) and cooked some chips to go with it. Result? Bloody lovely! Its not unlike black pudding or even sausage and I think most meat eaters would enjoy Haggis if they would only get over the ingredients and traditional cooking method. (I won't mention the 'lovely' stuff used to make chicken nuggets again. Oops I almost did).
I am now a keen lover of this Scottish delicacy and aim to pick a 'proper' Haggis up from the butchers. You'll no doubt hear from this dish agian on these here pages, but next time served with the neeps and tatties.

Music to eat to ~ Alestorm

Ready The Toads!

Toad in the hole with chips

On the luncheon menu today my dear moshers was Toad In The Hole served with chips and a slice of bread (see above photo). One of Britain's traditional meals it is usually served with vegetables and gravy (onion gravy mostly) but I decided to hit the chip pan instead because veggies aren't really that metal apart from fried tomatoes which are totally metal.
Sadly no real toads are involved in the making of the dish (aren't toads meant to be hallucogenic?) and all it consists of is sausages in the batter used for Yorkshire pudding. That all makes for some fantastic stodge, and we just luurve a bit of stodge here! It keeps you going on the Ale long after the lightweights have folded into an alcohol induced slumber.
My only bit of advice when making Toad In The Hole is don't make the batter too thick or it can taste very fatty/lardy. Try to judge the amount by the amount of sausages you're chucking into it. Its quick too, 220 oventemp for 40 mins and you are ready to eat.

Music to eat to ~ Uriah Heep, Magnum, Saxon, Wolfsbane