MacWimpy

The funk of the junk

If home cooked beef burgers are Iron Maiden, those salt infested abominations available in the sickly, neon kingdoms are Bryan Adams. Popular and safe to show your mother but quite unremarkable in both taste and looks (still we love Bri eh?) Generic patties, all marching to the same beat on a giant conveyor belt into the jelly stomachs of unfussy masses.
When you put away the wallet/purse and cook your own beef burgers, you will see, and more importantly TASTE the difference. Sure a visit to MacFrankenstein is easier and it keeps the kids happy (which is depressing in itself) but easy rarely makes way for quality.
Home is where heart (and belly) is. Everyone remembers fondly, the home cooked burger that mum always made. Nothing else was like it, unique in every way. Ah the memories! (Something else the neon sh!thouses seldom throw up). You might not get a 'free' toy with a meal at home but mum doesn't need to fob you off with plastic bribes ~ her burgers is plenty.
See me up there in the photo with my convenient, greasy scrumpings? What you can't see is the boredom in my eyes, and a soul so utterly bored with fastfood. I love food but there's nothing to love about a branded zombie burger. Uniformed. Grub shouldn't look, smell and taste the same, and it shouldn't be manhandled by a skinny teenager on job placement before handing over your coin.

Plant Page Curry Combo

Yummy for the tummy

All Hail (capital H hail) moshers! I bring to thee another wonderful meal which won't cost the earth but will almost certainly make it MOVE! Not to mention light you up like a firecracker up an arsonists azz. All you need is a Mayflower beef curry (can be bought in Farmfoods £1.39p) a carton of their egg fried rice (75p) and a teaspoon of Blair's Ultra Death hot sauce (800,000 Scoville Heat Units of hot.) Takes around 8 minutes of nuking in the micro (but you can use the oven) and the taste? F**king DIVINE, proper bloody lusho!
Its like a moshpit on yer tongue but BEWARE ONLY CHILIHEADS NEED APPLY because at 800,000 SHU, the Death sauce turns this usually tame curry into a ravenous sabre toothed kitty cat on the hunt for your screaming, melting innards. Im not joking either, regular readers of this blog will know from previous posts that the Ultra Death sauce isn't messing around.
I have added Blairs to many curries over the last few months but Mayflowers has brought the best results. Its truly very tasty. Also, unlike other readymade curries who skimp on the meat, Mayflowers has a tidy bit of beef in there, so be careful not to overcook (over nuke?) in the micro because if you do? It gets tough.
If you enjoy Vindaloo, this is a decent alternative if you can't be fussed with heading out to a takeaway. In fact its better when you compare it to some of the shoddier takeaways lurking on our high streets. It was definitely a great way to finish off my bottle of Ultra Death (see empty bottle below.) So I had better sign off this post and get ordering more!

Bah

Real Beef (Burgers)

There Will Be Blood

This was a REAL beef burger (bought at a butchers) coming out from under my grill ten minutes ago. Served with melted cheese on top and in a fresh crusty roll, it tasted heavenly! The blood? Well you never see that coming from puny supermarket burgers which just goes to show how awful they must be. You are cooking meat from a (formerly) living creature remember? There should be blood! Or else im wondering just what kind of animal those supermarkets are putting in their 'beef'.
The 'coup de grâce' of this fine snack was a good few drops of Satan's Rage hot pepper sauce which really did add the kind of sting I look for in a burger. Carnivorous Corpse!



Before cooking

Nightmare on Cawl Street

I have come to the end of the Blair's Mega Death Sauce. Sad times my friends, sad times. (But I do have some Ultra Death on order so happily the burning times are going to keep on rolling and melting my innards like the loudest Motorhead gig.) And as it is the eve of St David's Day I thought it would be a good idea to 'bless' a Cawl (traditional Welsh dish) with the final drops of hot sauce. Result? Well I won't be doing it again because this stuff is much better on burgers and sandwiches. In Cawl/soups it is pretty disgusting it has to be said.
Its hot don't get me wrong. Like I say in the video below, the combined heat from both sauce and cawl makes it feel as though you are eating liquid razorblades but taste wise its pretty darned foul. Another thing to note is that the burn you get from using Blair's hot sauce in things like broth doesn't last as long as when you put some on a beefburger. The heat might be instant and more intense while you're tucking in but 5 minutes after you put down the spoon its barely noticable.



Burny but ych a fi (Welsh = horrid)

Dydd Gwyl Dewi Da Pawb!

Kangaroo Steaks

Fried kangaroo


Raw it reminded me of plums

Kangaroo. Not the most common beast in Britain's wildlife but thanks to meat imports (and German store Lidl), a critter we can nonetheless eat with our beloved chips and feshly baked crusty bread. I love trying new foods, especially meat, and I was pretty stoked (thanks young Americans) at the prospect of getting my fangs into succulent kangaroo chops.
So how was fried Skippy? Well a few people online had said how kangaroo steaks tastes like a cross between venison and lamb (two of my favourite meats) but dancing on my carnivorous tastebuds they were like neither of those. Here's the skinny (or Skippy): KANGAROO TASTES LIKE BEEF STEAK. Seriously, if you enjoy steak from a cow then you'll like steak from a Roo too. In fact put the two on a plate and most would struggle to tell the difference. And like beef steak its a breeze to cook, simply fry on both sides for 4 - 6 minutes and serve. Or throw a few on the barbie as the Aussies would say.
Shame I cooked this for lunch because my guess is they would be delicious with a drop of wine or chilled cider. **Scribbles note for future** As you can see I cooked homecooked chips with it but a jacket potato, or even a salad would suit it well too because although its very much like beef, kangaroo meat isn't as strong in flavour. Even when you slightly overcook it like I did this time. (But it was only a few minutes and was still great).
Oh and meat eaters please dont be getting on any high horses because I had kangaroo for dinner! Any fan of KFC or the Golden Arches has just as much blood on their hands as us roo (or any other critter) flesh munchers. Just do one, you hypocritical sad sacks. Thank you.




Delicious!

Boozy Pie!

For the win!

The Fray Bentos (or Frayed Bentos as I like to call them) Boozy Steak & Ale pie! Lovely with a side order of chips/fries and a spalsh of vinegar. Go easy on the brown sauce if you happen to be a sauce fiend because you'll end up killing the tang of Ale thats in the gravy which would be an utter disaster. I love HP Brown sauce as much as the next mosher but prefer the taste of booze.
Come to think about it, this steak pie would be ideal to take with you to a festival as a more 'complete' meal than sticking to chesseburgers (not thats theres anything wrong with burgers) but due to the fiddly nature of the tin (a drunk man's nightmare) and need for an oven it will sadly get left on the shelf. Unless of course you cook it before leaving.
Nevertheless this is an excellent pie from Team Bentos. I heartily recommend it. Like Napalm Death & Pork scratchings.

Italia Fabula!

Perfect!


And more perfection with added cheese

As was the case for the Roast Pork dinner, I cannot claim to have made the two Spaghetti Bolognese dishes above. My Better Half did and all credit must go to her. And it must be good too because I wan't much of a Spag Bol fan before she cooked it for us. In the first photo it was topped with Parmesan cheese, whilst the pic below was grated Mature Cheddar cheese.

**Warning**
This is not a good meal after a session on the booze. Unless you fancy making a terrible foody mess before bed. Eating spaghetti whilst inebriated is much like we imagine herding cats to be. Or squid. Ever herded squid before? I did it in a dream once and I don't recommend it at all. And this meal is not really first drunken choice is it? Chips beat pasta after a night out.

Music to eat to ~ System Of A Down