Colon Cleaning for Moshers

There. A work of Art

What is this you feast your eyes upon?! A cheesy, battered sandwich of doom! (Nothing was fried though and I don't use butter so it wasn't ALL bad.) Sometimes you gotta throw caution (and yer waistline) to the wind and eat dangerously. What good is a life spent munching on lettuce and muesli? And you can't put the awesome Professor Phardtpounder's Colon Cleaner on muesli. (Well you could but I suspect it wouldn't taste very nice). Ever since I first bought a bottle of Colon Cleaner (from Dr Burnorium's Hot Sauce Emporium) I have been smashing it on everything from bacon sarnies to chicken wings, so darned tasty! A Caribbean style, mustard-based sauce with Scotch Bonnet peppers but don't worry! Its nowhere near in the same league, heat wise, as say Blair's Mega Death so even newbies would handle his bad boy sauce. In fact if you are a fan of regular old mustard, you will enjoy this.
So what went into this epic sarnie of doom? Crispy chicken portion, onion rings (breadcrumbs), tomato, all topped off with delicious melted, stringed cheddar cheese and slapped between two slices of unbuttered toast. All grilled and served with hefty dollops of Prof Phardtpounder's Colon Cleaner. Spiffing chaps and chapesses, absolutely bloody SPIFFING! I think I deserve a massive pat on the back and tons of applause for creating such a marvellous work of Art.

Psycho Scratchin's

Come to papa!

Man has been searching for the perfect 'pub snack' ever since we brewed that first beer. Alcohol gives you the munchies, and for a while, bags of salted peanuts (pinned to cardboard featuring a naked woman, remember those?) seemed to be the Daddy. Not any more, daddy has found a hotter model. And when I say HOT, think Christie Brinkley wearing nothing but high heels, a come-to-bed smile and holding a neon sign saying F**KING HOT.
Ladies and gentlemen, moshers and maggots, I bring thee Psycho Scratchin's! Or rather Dr Burnorium (www.hotsauceemporium.co.uk) does, since he is the evil genius behind these fabulously, fiery snacks of awesome. Yup, the creator of Psycho Juice hot sauce has gone and done it again. Praise the lord (of hot stuff.) I didn't think pork crackling could get better but holy sweet pepper, Psycho Scratchin's are the dog's wotsits. It took all my willpower, paper thin at the best of times, not to eat three bags in one go. Moreish isn't the word (well it is but you know what I mean.)
Delicious pork rind liberally dusted with Ghost Pepper (Naga Jolokia) with a satisfying crunch, and as a bonus these don't taste half as salty as inferior crackling. I love the heat of these too, face melt for sure, but a very pleasant face melt! (See me eating them in vid below.) If you fancy something different, put down that dry roasted peanut, and head on over to Dr Burnorium's Hot Sauce Emporium and order some. I guarantee you'll be back for more, these are special indeed.
Now this is the third time I have featured Dr Burnorium's sauces and snacks in my blogs and before anyone starts wondering if I am on his payroll or not, nope, im not. The reason for these 'reviews' is simple; when I discover a fantastic product I get excited (like getting a new Slayer album,) I want to share it with others so they don't miss out, I want to 'give it props' as our American cousins would say. Go tell it on the mountain! Or perhaps volcano would be more apt in this case since these Scratchin's are like little lava chunks, waiting to melt in yer gob in a fireball of great flavour and wicked heat.
So no payroll here, just a very satisfied customer who will keep returning for more Psycho Juice awesomness. Pain shouldn't taste this good.

Comfort Food

Pass the Parsley

Apologies for the bad photograph but that there is the ultimate comfort food: fish, mashed potatoes and parsley sauce (sadly I forgot the peas.) Most folk nowadays only remember parsley sauce from school dinners as a lad/ladess which is a crying shame because this sauce is seriously LUSH, and easy to make (there are hundreds of recipes online.) Its great with baked ham too, I remember my late mother making it often back in the day. I urge anyone reading this outside of Britain to make some parsley sauce, you will thank me I guarantee.
These days im fairly addicted to hot sauces but will always go back to the parsley when I feel the need (like I did today.) In fact, that has me thinking now: hot parsley sauce! Eureka! I haven't seen anyone make that. I just might suggest it to a hot sauce creator I know.

Less Sabath, More Sabbat

100% classic

Let me kick off straight to the point here; Sabbat were a bloody awesome British thrash metal band. When they released their debut album, "History of a Time to Come" back in 1988, I was blown out of my Nike hi-tops. What a cracker of an album, there isn't a bad track on it. From the brilliant opener, "A Cautionary Tale" to the Christian antagonizing ending of "The Church Bizarre", metalheads will be in their element. "Appetite For Destruction" (Guns n' Roses) was released the year before and Sabbat's mighty offering had the same impact on my teenage self.
And that artwork? I had it the album on vinyl to ogle that lovely art. If I was ever to get a back tattoo, this would be the design. Wonderful package, as was the follow up, 1989's "Dreamweaver (Reflections of Our Yesterdays.)" Funnily enough I didn't get that one on vinyl because CD was becoming popular and I was busy scooping those up but in the end got it on cassette.
Such a damned shame that after this period, the mighty Sabbat went tits up but maybe it was for the best? Perhaps its better to have brief spells of genius than having to witness a great band become less great, and hear albums get weaker and weaker. Yes there was a third record, "Mourning Has Broken" (1991) but it was considered both a critical and commercial turkey which banged that final nail into Sabbat's split. But like I say, better to have 2 fantastic albums than none at all


Belt it out