Curry Bombin' Rissoles

The RissoDaloo™

Heads up Moshers, I bring you lucky headbangers yet another exclusive culinary experience that im pretty certain you haven't tried anywhere else. I call it the RissoDaloo™ and needless to say, it kicks f**king ass! Colour me proud, I love it when a plan comes together (cheers Hannibal!) You want to know something? I don't want to blow an eight ton trumpet here but if it wasn't for folk like me, Mankind would never have discovered the Hot Dog or Cheeseburger. Hashtag FACT.
I love messing around with favourite snacks, and adding my own wicked little twist.
Sometimes it ends up as Epic Fail, like that time I tried a pie sandwich (too 'bready') but occasionally I nail it and we get bacon! Or spicy rissole in this instance. Consistency wise the RissoDaloo™ was slightly thick and heavy but I suspect throwing a handful of chips (fries) onto the plate would solve this. Couple of important points to consider however: adjust sauce to whatever heat level you are comfortable with (Da Bomb will be too hot for newbies) and stick to buying readymade Vindaloo sauce from supermarkets. Why? Because generally these types are not full whack Vindaloo strength, the last thing you want to be doing is adding hot sauce to a good homemade curry (a well made Vindaloo is hot enough.)
Now im not going to say my new creation is gonna change the face of planet, pizza style but if you ever fancy a spicy munch with a definite difference, then my RissoDaloo™ is well worth a shot.


Into the pot

The Toothless Vindaloo

A Carmarthen favourite

Ask a Carmarthen local which Indian restaurant/takeaway is best and there is a good chance they will tell you its Ginger. Read the reviews on websites like TripAdvisor, those will say the same thing. Fancy a good curry in west Wales? Ginger is the place to be. I would normally agree too, only recently they lost a chef to a rival restaurant and when I ordered a takeout from there last Friday, it wasn't up to their usual great standard. Maybe it was an off night? (Though eateries should never have those.) Or perhaps more care is taken with sit down meals? Who knows, but the meal I had was nothing special.
Being a big fan of hot and spicy grub, I naturally ordered a Lamb Vindaloo, special fried rice and chips (fries) but as soon as I had peeled off the cardboard cover of my rice, I knew I was going to be disappointed. The rice looked too yellow, like the cheap stuff you see in supermarkets and the chips were hard. Im a big fan of chips bought in Indian takeaways, they are usually chunky and golden, often better than those found at chippys (fish & chip shops) but these were a very poor show. And as for the Vindaloo itself? It seriously could have passed for a Pasanda or a Bhuna. It was mild to say the least and as for breaking out in sweat? Not a chance! Now I readily admit that due my habit of smashing hot sauces over every meal, my tolerance for spicy food has increased tenfold but come on! A Vindaloo should never be compared to a f**king Pasanda. Im willing to bet that a Korma fan would have coped with it.
I take no pleasure in writing this. In fact I am genuinely sorry to have to write such a negative article about a local place but its the truth my friends. Even the free poppadum was soft.

Feasts of Metal rating: 2/5

My Lamb Vindaloo

Plant Page Curry Combo

Yummy for the tummy

All Hail (capital H hail) moshers! I bring to thee another wonderful meal which won't cost the earth but will almost certainly make it MOVE! Not to mention light you up like a firecracker up an arsonists azz. All you need is a Mayflower beef curry (can be bought in Farmfoods £1.39p) a carton of their egg fried rice (75p) and a teaspoon of Blair's Ultra Death hot sauce (800,000 Scoville Heat Units of hot.) Takes around 8 minutes of nuking in the micro (but you can use the oven) and the taste? F**king DIVINE, proper bloody lusho!
Its like a moshpit on yer tongue but BEWARE ONLY CHILIHEADS NEED APPLY because at 800,000 SHU, the Death sauce turns this usually tame curry into a ravenous sabre toothed kitty cat on the hunt for your screaming, melting innards. Im not joking either, regular readers of this blog will know from previous posts that the Ultra Death sauce isn't messing around.
I have added Blairs to many curries over the last few months but Mayflowers has brought the best results. Its truly very tasty. Also, unlike other readymade curries who skimp on the meat, Mayflowers has a tidy bit of beef in there, so be careful not to overcook (over nuke?) in the micro because if you do? It gets tough.
If you enjoy Vindaloo, this is a decent alternative if you can't be fussed with heading out to a takeaway. In fact its better when you compare it to some of the shoddier takeaways lurking on our high streets. It was definitely a great way to finish off my bottle of Ultra Death (see empty bottle below.) So I had better sign off this post and get ordering more!

Bah

Dave's Burning Nuts

Dave's Burning Nuts! Not too hot (in my humble opinion) but to be fair to Dave, I think my tolerance for hot foods has shot up since I discovered the wicked world of hot sauce. So to anyone not familiar with the beautiful burn, these peanuts will probably blow their pants off. I still enjoyed them mind, 50x better than a packet of regular dry roasted, and there was a pleasant tingle in the back of my throat after a few fistfuls. I guess I expected the whack of a super hot. I will be buying the "Da Bomb Nuts" next, which i'm told are a wee bit hotter but I would still give Dave's Nuts a solid 7/10 because they are a darned fine peanut which has a pleasant tingle about them. Crisps? F**k that, get some snacks that belong in the metal world inside you.

*If you fancy trying them for yourself, head on over to Dr Burnorium's Hot Sauce Emporium and he'll sort you out good. A fine fellow, tell him I sent you.

Fiery burp

The Beans Are Coming

You will be needing Balls

Quite fancy being a foody agony aunt today so here goes:

"I like to read British mysteries. Strangely, the food most often mentioned in this genre is "beans on toast", evidently an everyday item used for breakfast lunch or dinner (at least according to the authors). Being a lover of (Boston type) baked beans, I tried some on wheat toast. Didn't seem to be different enough to make it worthwhile. Am I missing something? Did I use the right kind of beans or bread? Could some Brits fill in the blanks here?"

Sure can my Colonial chum! What you will be needing:

1. Good quality bread is a MUST, woe betide if you opt for cheap own brand supermarket scut.
2. Ditto baked beans. You really DO NOT want to be choosing the 21p "value" beans. Nothing "snobby" about it, the cheap baked beans have a high salt content. Mind you Heinz could be accused of being too salty as well, so I use Branston.

While the baked beans are simmering on the hob (I suppose you could nuke them in the microwave but im old fashioned) toast a slice of bread. Some like it almost burnt but me? I prefer a light toasting so that the toast is the colour of a matchstick. Make sure you butter the toast while its hot so that all that buttery goodness melts into the bread. This is important! As soon as the beans are hot (hot not warm) pour them over the toast. Serve and enjoy!
I know a lot of folks like to eat this snack with their hands but using a knife and fork is usually the wisest method because it prevents the beans and tomato sauce (not ketchup) spilling all over your lap/carpet/cat. Only use your hands if you are stingy in slopping out the beans but don't be a beany miser, pour that sh!t on good!
If you happen to have some good Cheddar cheese lurking in the fridge (definitely not that processed rubbish) melt some of that and plonk it on top of the baked beans. Makes a great dish even tastier! Of course if you want extra flavour but don't like cheese, the braver readers among you could do what I do and put some HOT SAUCE over the beans. It really adds a pleasant nip, and my personal recommendation would be Psycho Juice Red Savina by the evil (but in a good way) Dr Burnorium. His Psycho Juice range are fantastic.

(Interlude) Warbringer

Okay, spank my toned ass with hot chili pepper, because before a few hours ago I had never heard of Warbringer. And yes, that is the look of utter shame you can imagine me wearing right now. There is no excuse really, only with the advent of internet, getting to hear every single great metal band out there is becoming that much harder. Yeah yeah, you'd think with sites like SoundCloud and Spotify, the task would be made easier but no! By the awesome beards of Amon Amarth, there are too many studded fruits on offer, its like a child being let loose in a sweetshop with unlimited dosh and no threat of rotten teeth. To misquote the wise poet Coleridge; music music everywhere, and too many beats to drink.
But found them I have now (he says like Yoda) thanks to a thrash metal radio station on the TuneIn App, and be sure I will be checking more of Warbringer's stuff out just as soon as I finish spreading the metal gospel via my super Scoville fuelled blogs of doom.

United World Rebellion

Boom! Some unexpected news from Skid Row! Now I was a huge fan of the guys back in the day. This was a band that arrived when the classic Sunset Strip era of Motley Crue, Guns n' Roses, Ratt, Cinderella, etc was coming to a close, but still managed to emerge with a decent shot of excitement and raw anger. You only need to listen to "Youth Gone Wild" to hear evidence of this. The first two Skids records were excellent (I REALLY need to get both on my Nexus) and Sebastian Bach's enthusiasm for rocking the stage, combined with ball shrinking screams really made Skid Row a rock/metal band to be reckoned with.
The bands most recent offering is "United World Rebellion - Chapter One" (released May 24th) and you can check out the song, "This Is Killing Me" in the vid below. Me? I like it, okay I readily admit I liked the band better with Seb but seeing as he hasn't had anything to do with Skid Row for many a year now, its irrelevant (and seems a tad unfair to mention it.) Anyway onward and upward as they say, I like the forceful-don't-give-a-h!t image they have going on up there in that piccy and hope a few of todays kids get into the band rather than listening to the cackhanded mainstream garbage that gets churned out ad infinitum from faceless suited turds who seem intent on keeping every artist a carbon copy of the last. Rant endex, get the heads a-banging!

This Is Killing Me

Blair's After Death Sauce