The Poet's Mudball

See the egg? Its not needed.

Right I promised you dear moshers that I would share a snack I created myself (at least ive never come across it elsewhere) and here it is, I call it the Poet's Mudball! And it is flipping lush (lovely) I tell you, LUSH!
So simple too. All you need is a Pot Noodle (think Raman noodles) and a *Scotch Egg.
Create a hole in the breadcrumbed part (as seen above), pull the egg out and eat it whole. It gives you something to chew on while the noodles soak in the soy sauce. Leave the Pot Noodle stand for 5 minutes then fill the Scotch Egg 'casing' with noodles and voila! You have an instant tasty as f**k treat. Chicken & Mushroom flavour Pot Noodles are what work best in a Poet's Mudball, the curry one is too peppery. But hey there are no solid rules here, and if a curry one is more your jug of Jagerbomb then go for it!


How apples should be

* A Scotch Egg is hard-boiled egg coated in a sausage meat mixture then rolled in breadcrumbs and deep fried.

Music to eat to ~ Foo Fighters, System Of A Down, Helmet.

Piggy Trotters

Pig's Trotters are coming back to our dinner tables its been noted. In this current gloomy fiscal climate people are shunning steaks and beef joints for cheaper meaty joints, and the pig is again for the chop. (Sorry Miss Piggy but needs must, im sure Kermit would understand).
The trouble is folk are not really sure how to cook these knuckly delights, and even less certain about what to eat them with. Do they go with chips? Salad? Or how about bunging them in a broth? Well fear not fellow mosher! I just so happen to have a little recipe for ya.


Stuff you'll need:

2 Pig's Trotters (but of course).

4 Large Spuds (potatoes).

1 Large cooking apple

1 Broccoli head.

1 Pint of cider (slurp!)

1 Pint of red wine (double slurp!)

1 Pint of beef stock

1 Teaspoon of Dijon mustard

1 Dessertspoon of sugar

100g Butter

50ml Double cream

Sage leaves


Can feel it righ down to my knucklebones!

How to mix it all up:

First brown off Piggy's trotters in a pan.
Then chuck in the booze (cider & wine), the beef stock & sage leaves.
Bring to the boil then simmer for around three hours. Keep checking on it, it might be ready in two and a half hours. Remove the trotters and reserve the stock.
Peel the spuds (potatoes), chop into half inch cubes. Put them in water. Now peel the apple and get choppy with it before cooking in a pan with a little water. Smear the sugar and Dijon mustard over the trotters and boil the spuds for 20 minutes.

Pour yourself a large alcoholic drink in anticipation of this culinary dream.

Preheat oven at 180c/Gas Mark 4 before oven roasting trotters for 15~20minutes. Bring stock back on to boil then reduce and heat broccoli in water for four minutes. Potch (Welsh slang for 'mash') the spuds with the butter, cream and apple.

Now serve and prepare to be amazed.

Music to eat to ~ Helloween, Alice Cooper, Paradise Lost, Celtic Frost.

Cacen Cymraeg ~ Welshcake

A Welshcake on my table yesterday

Okay fellow moshers, you won't see many sweet things in this blog because im not at all sweet toothed and can live without things like chocolate and candy. But Welshcakes are different; and this is isn't bias because im Welsh (well ok maybe a little), Welshcakes truly do rock! Very simple to make (lots or recipes online to check out) and is the perfect accompaniment to a cup of tea (preferably Glengetti), especially if like me, biscuits aren't your thing. And do be fooled by the size of a Welshcake, I can only manage two in one go and as you will have learnt by reading earlier parts of this blog, I have a huge appetite! Three Big Macs from the Golden Arches? No problem, can finish three in a heartbeat with three large fries. The Welshcake on the other hand, kicks my moshing ass.

Worth a trip to Wales alone

If you ever find yourself in Wales, ignore the packets of Welshcakes that are sold in supermarkets and get thyself to a traditional market (like the one in Carmarthen) where you will find much better made Welshcakes, usually made from a family recipe that has been handed down over many years. These are the best trust me.

Music to eat to ~ Dafydd Iwan, Paer Aeroplanes, Max Boyce, Tom Jones.

The Baker Failed Me

The offending Pork Pie; to the bin Porky

I like Pork Pies when they're well made. Pie makers Melton Mowbray and the lesser known Haigh's, both make cracking Pork Pies that when added to a salad (or simply eaten with a cold pint of beer) it makes a lip smacking treat.
Alas not everyone has the magic Porker touch. Certainly Morrison's supermarket don't, if the Pork Pie I just had is anything to go by. After all the hulabaloo they make in the television ads over having in store bakers, I thought I was on pretty safe snacking ground. How wrong I was! It was very fatty, much more than usual for a pie, and the pastry also tasted of lard. And this is coming from a headbanger who loves things like bacon rind and the fat on steak. I couldn't finish it which is a first for me with pie.

Music to be sick to ~ Pink, Lady GaGa, Katy Perry

Keeping It Simple with Pie

Just add brown sauce

You cant get simpler than Pie and Chips. No chippy in Britain would be without it, and wives have cooked this classic meal for husbands since we first lifted a club. (Of course Woolly Mammoth went into them back then).
I always have a Minced Beef and Onion Pie but theres a fair choice on offer including Steak and Kidney, Chicken, Steak and Ale, even Curry if you fancy it.
Pies are a speciality in my hometowns Fish & Chip shops, and were the perfect food to keep me going that extra mile on a good binge. Its also the only food (apart from fish) that I will put vinegar on, as usually I cant stand vinegar.
Pies are also great in a sandwich (see below), although admittedly im the only one I know who has them this way.


Pie Sarnie

Music to eat to ~ The Almighty, Motorhead, Fear Factory.

A Shout for Farm Eggs

Cheers Mrs Hen

If you happen to live near a farm that sells fresh eggs, then don't delay, go and buy some. Right now! Do it! You will not be disappointed, I guarantee it. They are superior to supermarket eggs in every way; fresh, bright yellow yolk, fluffy whites. Eggs bought at the big stores simply cannot compare to the awesome farm egg. I love to know that part of my breakfast was laid that very morning, probably while I was pouring tea. Shop eggs have more than likely been hanging around the shelves for days. (Weeks in some place).
Do yourselves (and tastebuds) a HUGE favour and stop by your local farm.


Yellow Like the Sun

Mouth Full of Chops

Delicious ~ Pork Doorstops

Pork is one of my favourite meats (especially Belly Pork) and it can be roasted, grilled, fried or chucked on the barbecue. The Chops in the photo were grilled (20 mins on medium heat) and were fantastic! When buying Pork I recommend you ignore supermarkets and head to the butchers for your meat. Not that there is anything particularly wrong with the supermarkets (some do have fine butchers in their store), but I love the personal touch that local butchers have and they know your favourite cuts.
Care must be taken when cooking Pork however. Cook for too long and it becomes much too chewy and all you end up with is tired jawbones. As I say, 20 minutes under a medium grill is perfect. For a little added flavour (and im revealing a cooking secret here) I melt a knob of butter over the Chops a minute before they are ready. Tastes great make no mistake!
I have two favourite Porky meals; with Chips and Egg like above, or with Roast Potatoes. My late mother used to cook Belly Pork with Roasties in the middle of the week and its a tradition that im very happy to keep going. Cheers Mum!

Music to eat to ~ Testamnet, Walls Of Jericho, Dark Angel, Acid Reign.

The Devil's Pudding

Treat Your Arteries to Black Pudding

One would think congealed blood tasted terrible. One would be so very wrong! Black pudding (also called blood pudding and blood sausage) well and truly kicks ass. All it is is a sausage made by cooking blood (after its congealed) with onions, pork fat and oatmeal. Most animals crimson fluid can be used including pig, sheep, cows, goats and ducks. Are you listening PETA? Hehehe.
Black Pudding is usually fried and added to a cooked breakfast, but ive made tasty sandwiches with them and had them with chips (fries). Ive also had White Pudding in Ireland and its basically the same thing, apart from the obvious colour difference.
Looking to stodge up before embarking on an all nighter on the booze? Black Pudding is your food! And some Fish & Chip shops encase the Blutwurst (German for Blood Sausage) in batter which is handy. (Its also a refreshing change from Kebabs). Your arteries will thank you. Probably.
Seriously, this is a wonderful bit of grub. Don't let the congealed blood thing put you off because you eat worse when you tuck into a bucket of chicken nuggets. (And I love them too).

Music to eat to ~ Crowbar, Amon Amarth, Death, Machine Head.

Lake Mustard

Want Mustard With That?

Fish is good for us right? I love fish, especially when they're swimming in Tartare Sauce or Mustard. Like those herring fillets are doing in the photograph. Herring fillets in Mustard Sauce. I'll admit its more of a snack than a meal (unless you have it with a salad) but it does fill you up more than a Pot Noodle would for instance. Tastier too!

Music to eat to ~ Nirvana, Mudhoney, Nickelback .

It Is Legend

Lamb Vindaloo: Me Wanting Water!

The mighty Vindaloo is a dish that needs no introduction (especially here in the UK). Its a hot curry, much hotter than a Madras or a Rogan Josh, and the most popular meats to use in it are lamb, chicken and prawn. The one in the photo above was prepared by Farhim's Indian takeaway in Carmarthen which is a regular weekend haunt of this perma~hungry mosher.
The Lamb Vindaloo is my particular favourite and should be tried by everyone, even vegetarians. Special fried rice or mushroom rice and chips are common accompaniments, with poppadums of course. First time munchers might want a few pints of chilled beer on stand by too. Or cider. With ice, lotsa ice!
Mosh Fact #1: Curry has become a national dish in Britain but Vindaloo dishes are occasionaly omitted from the menu (one has to request it in some places) because they are too hot for all but the hardcore curry fans. There are pussies about. And interestingly (or not) the first time I ever had a Vindaloo was in 2009. True. Indeed my first ever Indian takeway was in 2005 (I had lamb curry) so I have a ton of lost time to make up.

Music to Vindaloo to ~ Obituary, Cannibal Corpse, Naplalm Death, Bolt Thrower,Death.
Vindaloo theme album ~ Show No Mercy by Slayer.

The Burrito of Love

F**king Tasty

First off, I admit that not every dish featured in this blog is homecooked. I don't have the time nor the skill to make everything myself, so I hope you won't be too picky when you read the description of this site in the header above. Peace.
I have never tried a Burrito until today. I have eaten a few Mexican dishes in the past and to be honest I was never that thrilled by them, so I was happy to give the Burrito a miss. Today however I was stuck on what to eat and I found my hand picking up two Chilli Beef Burritos; tomato tortillas filled with chilli beef and topped with cheese sauce and Monterey Jack cheese.
Oh my f**king word, they were/are delicious! And I am now mightily miffed dear mosher, miffed at all those wasted years I have spent ignoring them! Plenty of beef and cheese make two of these burritos a satisfying meal in just themselves. I needed no chips (fries) to go with them. They would be a great snacking food too while knocking back the cider and beer. Interestingly the photo on the box is of the burritos next to a salad but to my mind, putting them next to lettuce would be weird. Its a heavy meal and the greenery would not add anything to it, in my opinion. Anyway forget the shrubbery, all hail the metalness that is the Burrito!

Music to eat them to ~ ZZ Top, Mastodon, Kreator, Crowbar.

Steve's Cheeze Roadkill

Great with Guiness

First off, kindly ignore those poor excuses for bacon rashers. I was trying out a new butchers and he f**ked up and served me streaky instead of back cushion of swine, which is what I usually prefer. This particular meat vendor has since been sentenced to week's sobriety whilst being only able to listen to Katy Perry. He's lucky my bullwhip was in the wash.
Anyway, its easy enough to see what my recent snack has been; bacon with mature cheddar cheese slowly melted on top like a greasy mistress eager for some mouth action. I call this a cheeze roadkill™. The good old fried egg is usually this headbangers first choice in a swine sarnie but I had a lot of cheese left over from a salad (a salad?? Concerned editor) so decided on a change of sandwich.
All you need to do is get some back bacon (its also called a middle cut), grill until crispy then throw some graated cheese over it and melt slowly. Tomato ketchup isn't the best sauce to go with this, so use good old HP brown sauce. You can toast the bread if you prefer but personally I find toasted bread takes away the flavour of the bacon, but hey, each to his own and all of that. Guiness is a grand accompaniment to a plate of cheeze roadkill.

Music to chow down to ~ Motorhead, Circus Of Power, Chrome Division, Black Label Society.

N.B. Cheeze Roadkill™ is registered trademark owned by the author of this here blog. Any attempt to use it without acknowledging the author will result in you being hunted by a shadowy organisation who use boiling fat and kebabs on word magpies.