To Cook Squirrel

Firstly this isn't my recipe, its from an article in todays Wales Onlne. Secondly these meats are healthy, tasty and metal as f**K!

To cook a squirrel, first go out and try to kill a very young one. This is the most important thing as old ones are too tough. When skinning the squirrel, make extra sure to remove all the hairs.

Ingredients:

2 young squirrels, skinned and cleaned

Salt to taste

¼ teaspoon freshly ground pepper

4 tablespoons butter

½ cup all-purpose flour

After carefully washing the squirrels, pat dry.

With a mallet, gently pound the meat until the bones are crushed and the flesh is tender. Season the meat with salt and pepper.

Melt the butter in a skillet (preferably cast-iron) over medium-low heat.

Dredge the meat in flour, and add to the melted butter.

Brown and turn.

Continue cooking, stirring occasionally, until the meat is golden brown and cooked through. (Pierce with a knife to check “doneness”. The juices should run clear when cooked).

The process should take 25 to 30 minutes

A Traditional Welsh Dish

Cawl Lafwr (Laver Soup)

Laver is an an edible seaweed harvested from the rocks around the Welsh coast, and can be used to make this tasty thick vegetable (yes I said vegetable) soup.

Stuff you'll need:

4 ozs butter
3 ozs of the Holy laverbread
2 medium onions chopped.
2 pints lamb stock
3 spuds (potatoes)chopped
Salt & black pepper
1 carrot peeled & chopped
½ level teaspn castor sugar
and some parsley for garnish.

How to mix it up:

Melt the butter in a pan and cook the veggies until lightly brown. Stir in the holy laver and stock, bring to the boil and simmer, covered for 20-30 minutes until the veggies are nice and tender. Allow to cool a little, then sieve or liquidise. Return to a clean saucepan, add the seasoning and sugar and reheat thoroughly. Pour into bowls and garnish with parsley.

This will serve 4 moshers, or 2 if you are really hungry from all that Jagermeister.

Sausage Vindaloo

Ladies and moshers I give you another unique dish, created by yours truly, check out the Sausage Vindaloo™
What you will need ~

sausage
vindaloo paste
chili
onion
I show you how below ~



And here is the delicious result ~



Now the Sausage Vindaloo™ is an awesome meal which will be largely ignore by vegetarians and poosies but ignore them, they be nitwits. I have created another brilliant meal which will see you through many alcoholic rounds and a few metal gigs.

Music to eat to ~ Walls Of Jericho, Mary Beats Jane, Over Kill

Tea and a Pastie

Better than a Kit Kat

If you happen to come from West Wales you should be familiar with the saying "a cup of tea and a paaastie!" Its commonly said in a Swansea accent because enjoying tea and pasties during a break from doing something is what the Swansea Jacks like to do. Im not sure if everyone in my part of Wales has heard of this but people I know personally certainly have. (And as its been mentioned in Welsh comedies I know I haven't dreamt the saying up).
Okay this snack wouldn't see you through a Machine Head gig but it is a very satisfying little peck. Be warned though! Not any old pastie will do. For instance having a cuppa with a Cornish pastie would be what we in this corner of Wales would call doing it wrong mun.
It has to be a corned beef pastie usually bought at either Jenkins or Gregg's bakeries. But if you happen to be in Swansea itself then do it properly and grab yourself a bag of four pasties (for £1.50p) from one of the fabulous bakers in the famous indoor market. Davies of Mumbles is a very good choice.
As I am not very sweet toothed and live quite happily without biscuits, this is what I go for on my tea breaks, occasionally straying with a cheese & onion pastie but it never tastes as good with a mug of Glengetti than a corned beef.

Music to eat to ~ Dafydd Iwan, Max Boyce

Gie Her A Haggis!

Battered Haggis with chips

Now before I get buried underneath a wall of anger with folk yelling "those are not real Haggis! Boo! Hiss!" No this dish did not consist of a regular type of Haggis. These were in fact Haggis Bites that I bought from Farmfoods, but it should matter not dear moshers because they are still made with real Haggis and when all is said and done, Haggis is Haggis right?
But what is it exactly? What is this food that the Scots have made so famous? Basically it is the heart, lungs and liver of a sheep, called the sheep's 'pluck' and is minced with oatmeal, suet, onion, salt and spices. If you were to cook it in the way tradition dictates then you would simmer this mixture in the sheep's stomach. (2 ~ 3hrs should do it).
Were you to follow the route of tradition further, you would serve Haggis with 'neeps and tatties' (Scottish for swede, turnips and potatoes). I veered off the route (like I often do) and cooked some chips to go with it. Result? Bloody lovely! Its not unlike black pudding or even sausage and I think most meat eaters would enjoy Haggis if they would only get over the ingredients and traditional cooking method. (I won't mention the 'lovely' stuff used to make chicken nuggets again. Oops I almost did).
I am now a keen lover of this Scottish delicacy and aim to pick a 'proper' Haggis up from the butchers. You'll no doubt hear from this dish agian on these here pages, but next time served with the neeps and tatties.

Music to eat to ~ Alestorm

Ready The Toads!

Toad in the hole with chips

On the luncheon menu today my dear moshers was Toad In The Hole served with chips and a slice of bread (see above photo). One of Britain's traditional meals it is usually served with vegetables and gravy (onion gravy mostly) but I decided to hit the chip pan instead because veggies aren't really that metal apart from fried tomatoes which are totally metal.
Sadly no real toads are involved in the making of the dish (aren't toads meant to be hallucogenic?) and all it consists of is sausages in the batter used for Yorkshire pudding. That all makes for some fantastic stodge, and we just luurve a bit of stodge here! It keeps you going on the Ale long after the lightweights have folded into an alcohol induced slumber.
My only bit of advice when making Toad In The Hole is don't make the batter too thick or it can taste very fatty/lardy. Try to judge the amount by the amount of sausages you're chucking into it. Its quick too, 220 oventemp for 40 mins and you are ready to eat.

Music to eat to ~ Uriah Heep, Magnum, Saxon, Wolfsbane

Tenby's Fab Fish & Chip Shop

Watch the above video to see how Fish & Chips should look like. In Wales? Want to try this meal? Then head on over to Park road in Tenby and you'll find this fantastic Chippy opposite the blue gift shop with giant, inflatable pool toys hanging over its front. (Trust me you can't miss it)!
Now you may be tempted with the other delicious things on offer like their pies or awesome rissoles, but do stick with the cod & chips because Tenby is a seaside town where boats with super fresh fish arrive in the harbour daily so you can be sure of great tasting fish. (You could always add a rissole to your order and take it home for a rissole sandwich).
You can choose to eat in or out and if you decide to eat inside the tables are placed a reasonable distance apart so you don't go banging into peoples elbows like you do in some places I could mention. Good prices too and they have a licence to sell alcohol so major plus on that score.

Music to eat to ~ nothing. If eating out, take your parcel of Fish & Chips to the Esplanade overlooking the sea front and enjoy to the sound of waves crashing below. Watch out for seagulls! Mind you Caldy the Seagull, Twitter's newest hero and official Pembrokeshire spokesbird, is quite friendly.

The Veggies Have Landed

Without the egg, this is safe for vegetarians

Ok readers of this blog should know by now that its author and Metal Chef is a carnivore. I LOVE meat and am fine if it clogs my arteries and puts fat on my ass. Hey everything has a price right? But occasionaly I do wander into the realm of vegetarians (dont worry, I dont stay too long), in order to mix things up a little.
More often than not its a pretty bland affair on offer but persist and you can find some great grub (food). The vegetarian sausages and burger were passable in the meal above, just be sure you have enough egg yolk, beans and sauces to give it an extra zing.
Suprisingly this was pretty filling and could really set you up for a night behind the ale pumps. Not sure its wise to make this platter too often however. You might find yourself joining Greenpeace and drinking nettle tea.

Music to eat to ~ Korn (Quorn ~ geddit?)

Cracking Crackling

Heres some I made earlier

Another lovely snack im almost addicted to is Pork Crackling (Pork Rind in the US). Ignore the tiny packets that supermarkets are fond of selling because these are nothing compared to the real deal crackling you can get from the butcher. Or even better make it yourself! It couldn't be easier if it got up and bunged itself in the oven.
First get yer pork skin/rind from the butchers or supermarket. Morrisons sell two 'rolls' of it for around 70p. Before putting them in the oven, coat the skins with oil then cook for 45~55mins. Be careful when you take them out as the roasting dish will be hot, even with oven gloves!
After they are done, put on some Bolt Thrower and break the Crackling into nice bite sized pieces.

Music to peck to ~ Anthrax

Soup My Dears

Convenient: Soup in a mug

I learnt a cute ditty when I was young. It didn't have a title but it went like this:

*Say it as if you have a lisp*

Whath for thupper mother?
Soup my dear.
Oh bother thoup, im thick of thoup,
its always thoup for supper!

Great isn't it? And thats what I had earlier. Soup. A Japanese Oyster Mushroom soup to be precise, and it was delicious! Tasted a lot like the barbecue sauce you get with pork ribs in Chinese takeaways.
Ignore the fact that homemade 'real' soup is better and more nutritious than packet soups, sometimes there is no time for that, and this one was way more tastier than the usual chicken or tomato cup-a-soups.
If you decide to try the Oyster Mushroom soups then Aldi are selling them right now for 49p for three packets.

Music to slurp to ~ a few singles by Tori Amos