Turbo Cider

Recession crippling you? Is it affecting your booze intake? Well suffer no more as I have the perfect recipe for making your own grog. I know, im pretty special **wink**

Stuff you'll be needing ~

Plastic bottles. Or better get a 5 litre one.

4.5 litres of pure apple jooce (juice but spelt more 'metally') and remember, the better the jooce, the better the resulting grog will taste!

Pack of wine/cider yeast.

Dextrose. You can get two packs for £2 in Superdrug.

How to mix it up ~

Tip half the apple jooce into bottle.

Then add some of the dextrose with some more juice and shake well. Repeat this a few times with Motorhead on the stereo. Careful now! Don't add too much dextrose all at once but make sure it all gets in the bottle. Leave some jooce over.

Now then, bung the yeast into bottle, using what jooce you have left to wash it down in case any yeast sticks to bottle. Wait a few minutes before adding the last of the jooce as it will have foamed up from all the shaking and bunging in of ingredients see. Slap a stopper on the end of the bottle.

According to Turbo Cider experts the drink should become cloudy in a couple of days and remain so for a few weeks. Around the fourth week it should become clear, meaning your cider is ready - though you can keep it for another month or so.

Voila! Serve and enjoy!
It’s pretty fooking crude (think scrumpy more than Magners) but reserve judgement until at least the fourth pint. Its like that. And remember, its not about being classy, its about being blitzed.